I can barely see Luke inching closer and closer over my clouded mind. The next thing I know his face is completley smashed against mine. His lips strive to part mine and I and speechless, non moving. And not because his mouth is completley cutting off my air circulation which it is, it is pure shock. Out of all the ways i would have imagined today ending this is not what I would have been betting my money on.
The thing is , no matter hard i have been trying to get over him the past months, I never could actullay seem to bring myself to do it. But now, with him kissing me, I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders in an instant. That seems like the last thing i should be thinking at the moment, when the so called "guys of my dreams" I making out with me and I am giving nothing in return,but i feel like i finally have the closure i need to get him out of my head instead. I open my eyes after I feel I have slightly collected myself.
I bring my hand up and touch Lukes faces and knot my finger through his haid and pull him off of me ending his moment , not mine. He looks at me confused." I never stopped having feelings for you I hope you know that." He grabs my hands.
I sigh"And i think i just lost all mine." I shyly smile. For once i dont try to correct myself for seeming rude because i honestly dont intend for it to sound that way, and i know he understands me no matter how much of a bitch I may come across as .
"That bad ,huh?" A small giggle comes out of my mouth.
" Nah, just alittle... late.'' I pat his shoulder. This isnt the ending I would have imagined for us. A year ago I would have pictured us being together forever. Five months ago I couldn't see us ever doing anything besides attempting to ring one another's next whenever we came in a close enough radius. Last month i would have expected us to never say a word near each other again. But being ... friends, i guess, never really seemed an option in my mind until now, I I can even call this thing a friendship . with that I pat his shoulder and exit the room. Not saying another word.
I shut the door and lean against the wall. My mind is racing a mile a minute and i desperatly try to turn on the breaks so i can form a complete thought. Ashton. I completley forgot about him. Wow such a friend I am. I need to find him to put my thoughts into words. That always seems to clear my mind. And I know he'll be there to listen .
I see his light brown hair being illuminated by the porch light in the back. I slide the glass door left and tap his shoulder. His hair seems aroused and he gives me a look with wild red rimmed eyes ,but I can tell something else is wrong. I feel uncomfortabloe with the passing seconds of him studying my face.
"Are you high?Whats..." For the second time in one day i feel a face crash into mine. This time its much softer and gentler. But the only differnce i can truely feel is the fire forming in the pit of my stomach. I can feel myself wobbing losing balance getting ready to fall. I go to steady myself and wrap my arms around Ashton.
He does something that suprises me more than the sudden embrace and he pushes my hands to my sides and forces me against the wall. i try to grab his hair, I would do anything to show that i actually do want to kiss him back, but before i know it the kiss ends as ubrupt as it started. He gives me one more look and walk back inside. The only hope for sanity has just made me more insane.
" What the actual fuck." I whipser to no one inparticular. I sink into a crouching possition. My head is burried into my hands and my hair is sprawled all over the place. This completly represents my state of mind. A mess.
In a paralyzed state I walk to the guest bath and unconciously brush my teeth , wash my face, and comb my hair. I dont even bother to get into my pijamas. Today has already been weird enough why dont i just add on. I vow to get a pair of scissors in the morning and cut the damn shorts to shreds. I would burn it but miss Irwin would probably ask the reason and i dont feel like explaining to anyone in a lifetime. They have caused me enough troubles for a life time .
DOUBLE UPDATE BECAUSE I HAVENT POSTED IN MONTHS THANKS FOR 300
