Insomniac

Sam

☽s.6☾

"I love you," I snugged into his side, his familiar scent of Polo Ralph Lauren engulfing me in the best way possible.

"Me too, Samantha."

I couldn't help, but frown as I pulled away from Jeff's side and looked him square in his dough brown eyes. I sat there just scrutinizing him for a moment. The way he couldn't seem to meet my gaze, the way his smiles didn't reach his eyes, or the way he played with his watch-- that was a nervous tick of his. Pairing this with the way his voice sounded: reluctant and tired-- a little sad, I felt myself starting to panic. What was wrong with him?

It's probably nothing I told myself. He was probably just nervous about some debate, or worried about some test he more that likely aced. Those were the kinds of thing that were classified as calamities in the world of Jeffery Heaton.

But it could also be something terrible.

I swatted away the little nagging voice of negativity in my mind and fixed a smile on my face. The night wasn't over, and I was sure that if I couldn't cheer him up with uplifting, reassuring words then my gift to him deffinitely could.

The other night after purchasing that Beatles music I got a really cute card and placed a picture of us in it. But that wasn't the big deal. The big deal was that I ordered a signed poster. Signed by who you ask. Well the Beatles themselves of course. It cost me like two paychecks considering some people went nuts for that sorta stuff, but I knew-- just knew that Jeff would love it. He'd flash that charming smile and plant a huge kiss on my cheek, and maybe if I was lucky he'd kiss me full on the lips even if we were in public.

"So, I have your present. I really hope you like it... I mean I know you will-- I hope. It took forever to-- well, um. Here, babe. Happy three year aniversary," awkwardly I shoved the gifts at him marveling at the fact that we'd been together for three years and I still felt all kinds of nervous and awkward around him.

I watched with baited breath as he just stared at the presents.

"Uh, thank you. Here are your presents."

With hands that shook embarrassingly I took the huge box from him.

"Ok let's... open them together."

"I don't--

"One--

"I--

"two, three."

Quick as lightning I opened the box to see my favourite desert-- a red velvet cake. But my heart nearly stopped beating as it sank to my feet. On the cake in curly writing it read, "sorry" and taped to the top of the box was a note. My eyes skimmed it-- heart racing, and the only words that registered were, "sorry" "can't" "should take a break".

.

When Flo told me that my "boyfriend" was out waiting for me a couple different things cascaded through my mind.

First, I felt relieved-- Jeff was here? That would definitely give me an opportunity to talk about the other night-- his birthday when everything went horribly embarrassingly wrong. And that was a whole different story...

But then, how likely was it that he really was here? Jeff never came to the diner I had been working here since my freshman year of college, and from then to now-- junior year-- I could count the amount of times he'd visited on my fingers. It was always the same excuse. He was tired, or "Samantha you know I don't eat that kind of food" (he was a vegetarian. What kind of guy was a vegetarian I didn't know.)