Broken

Chapter 13

Being depressed isn't a privilege, or a reward. Not even close. Society these days think that you get special treatment because you have a "condition".

What they don't know is that, it's a living hell.

You want to sleep more, not because you're tired. You just hope you don't awaken; that your eyes stay closed so the world becomes dark. A dark world where the light has vanished, where you're all alone with no connection to civilization.

That's what we want. Well the people like me, suffering from this trama.

I no longer have fallen back into my "studying" ways. My daily routine when I come home, consists of taking out my textbooks, plugging my headphones in (to tune the world out), and stare at the pages with information; that just seem like a foreign language to me.

That's it, you may ask? My parents never suspect a thing.

Since they're "too busy" these days, they hardly notice I even exist. I could walk right past them without a single glance of reply from them.

The only enemy in this big, bad world is just myself.

I'm the bad guy. The criminal, that stole my own damn brain and fucked it up into the mess it is today.

So I thank myself so screwing up everything I had going for me.

My future is looking like shit, and I don't know why I don't give a fuck about it. I should be concerned with the way I'm acting, right?

This isn't normal. I'm not normal. I don't know what happened, except there is one explaination. It may sound idiotic, or even crazy but the answer's Harry.

Harry.

He's the reason why. He's the one that caused this mental heartbreak, where my heart has shattered into pieces. Harry and I were never together, yet he made me feel complete.

We are polar opposites.

Maybe that's the reason why I found him so attractive. I didn't know any better, and I liked the feeling of being with a bad boy. Correction I liked the idea of being with Harry.

God knows that he would never want to date a girl like me. And it's unheard of for a "good girl" to hook up with a "bad boy".

It seems like all we do these days is stereotype, or classify people into certain groups. Society is just one big stereotypical classification, where we distance ourselves from others who are different.

Now back to Harry.

I feel like my heart kept getting bigger and bigger every time I was with him. Not because of his harsh words that made my heart want to break, but because of who he is; that made it bigger until it finally burst.

He was just perfect in every way.

I never saw one flaw, that made him stand out from the others.

He was flawless, to me.

Absolutely breathtaking. Even now, when he looks at me I can't find any words to speak. My heart skips a beat, and I just can't explain why he makes me feel like that.

Right now, I should be thinking of a way to get my friends back, or even my grades; but my minds already filled up with Harry.

There's no more room for anything, or anyone else.

It's like my brain is always packed full of information, when in this case the so-called "information" is Harry.

I don't know why I keep obsessing over this boy. Besides he's trying to make a point, that he doesn't want me; or even need me.

The same goes for everybody else at Holmes Chapel Comprehensive High. It almost feels like I'm invisible. Like no one can see me, maybe I am just a transparent object taking up room in this earth. Maybe I don't belong, I wish I could just clear my head and start over.

And I mean start everything over.

I need a second chance.

Just like the one I gave Harry.

Maybe, he could try to give me my final; second chance in life.

Maybe, just maybe, I could try to fix this broken mess and bend it back together.