Jade's POV
I lay on my bed just staring up at the ceiling. I haven't left my room in about three days, I don't see why I should. I feel awful about the things I said to Jonas and I really don't want to see Perrie until I know she's gone. I don't think I could see her without caving in.
I wish everyone could understand what was going on in my head. I didn't just cancel the date because I wanted to, I did it because in my head it sounded right. In my heart I wanted to, but those thoughts of everything that happened between us kept clouding my mind.
To be honest I'm surprised Leigh hasn't even came to my room to check on me. I'm pretty sure Jonas told her what I said, she's probably furious. Or even worse she's probably really hurt. I didn't mean it though. I would never mean to say something like that. I hate the person I've become. I hate the person that I look at in the mirror every morning.
I don't blame Perrie though for all of it. I blame myself as well. Everything is a cause and effect situation, this was both of us. I'm stuck in here worrying about what could happen if I went on the date but I didn't even actually try to. I didn't give her a chance. I basically lied to her, I got her hopes up again as if we were going to fix things and that was wrong on my part.
I love Perrie. I love her so much and right now, while I'm all in my feelings, I feel as if I should tell her. I should apologize, I should go on that date and at least try. There's nobody else in this world that makes me upset but also the happiest person on this bloody planet than Perrie Edwards herself.
I get up off of my bed and I run to The mirror. I fix my hair a bit and sigh, I look like trash and my eyes are red. I take off my old pajamas that I've been wearing these past couple days.
I think it would be better for me to talk to Jonas and Leigh before Perrie though. I really was out of line with Jonas when he was just trying to stop me from being stupid.
I head downstairs bit its quiet. I don't hear anybody but I do smell food. I creep into the kitchen and I see Leigh. She's cook, something she got really good at being with Jonas.
I take a deep breath and knock softly on the door frame. She turns around and looks at me. I half smile but she just sighs and turns back around. I groan and step all the way in.
"Uhm, hey." I say, but she doesn't respond.
"Watcha cooking?" I ask. I still get no response though. I sigh and step closer to her, resting my hand on her shoulder.
"Leigh-Anne can we talk.....please." I ask hoping she would give me a chance to explain.
"I'm listening." She says, but still not turning around to look at me. She just continues to mix whatever she's mixing in the pot.
"I know Jonas probably told you what I said." I start
"He did." She says
"Uhm yeah." I say and clear my throat. This was harder than I thought. "Leigh I just wanted to say I'm sorry, for what I said, I was mad and I just-"
"You had no right to say what you said Jade, my child nor Jonas had anything to do with your situation, he was just trying to talk to you." She sighs. I just stand there I felt so bad. "We love you Jade and we love being around you and the opportunities you've brought for us, we're so thankful, but you haven't been the same and we all know it, Jonas and I just never wanted to say anything." She sighs.
"I know." I mumble "Leigh I am so sorry I never meant to hurt you and Jonas but you guys are my best friends, I'm so sorry for how I've treated you guys, I appreciate you both so much, you've been there for me and never left my side, I love you both and my little niece or nephew." I say and a few tears roll down my cheeks. I didn't even realize I was crying.
"Your child is not stupid, he or she is gonna be the smartest kid in the world." I say and we both chuckle.
"God child." Leigh says holding her stomach.
"What?" I ask a bit confused
"I want you to be his or her God mother Jade." She says happily and gasp happily.
"Really me? Leigh oh my god." I say and I run up to her giving her a big hug. This is so exciting and I don't even know how to react. A God mother is important on so many levels to me.
"Well you and Perrie." I hear Jonas say as he wraps his arms around the both of us.
"You have a habit of listening to other people's conversations huh?" I laugh
"What can I say? I'm nosy." He laughs. "But seriously." He says as we all pull away from the little group hug. "We want you and Perrie to both be the God Mothers thus making you God parents." He chuckles.
"But we aren't together." I shrug. "I came down so I could talk to all three of you, I feel horrible for just canceling the date like that, I was gonna head to her room and talk to her." I explain.
They look at each other confused and then back at me. I raise my eyebrow and stare at them confused as well now.
"What?" I ask.
"Jade, Perrie left last night." Jonas says and my jaw drops slightly. I look at the ground and shake my head confused. Did she already find some where to go that fast. I didn't think she would find somewhere to go that fast. I did t even get to apologize, she's probably still really upset. I feel so bad. I have to get her back, I need her in my life. I'm not going to lose her again.
"Do you know where she went, I have to go talk to her and work everything out." I ask. I hope she didn't go to Zayn. I don't think she would at least, she hates the guy more than anything now.
"She uhm." Jonas starts
"She went with her mum." Leigh finishes.
I sigh and roll my eyes. Perrie why do you have to make my life hard, Jesus. I hate her mum more than I hate Zayn. Maybe not, but I hate that lady.
"Shit." I say and grab my car keys off the counter.
"Wait where are you going? Just call her Jade, you know how her mum feels about you." Leigh says
"Yeah I know I don't want to even look at her face, bit I need to say this in person, it can't be over the phone."
"What if she won't let you?" Jonas asks
"I have to try Jonas, I'll see you guys later alright." I say as I walk towards the front door. I put on my slippers and walk out the door. Once I get to my car I slam the door and rest my head on the steering wheel. I'm nervous, but I know I need to do this.
"Okay let's go get the love of my life back." I say to myself, starting my car and pulling off.
Sorry for mistakes too lazy to edit tbh
