Too Much Depair. Should I end It Now?

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Y'N's POV
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I stare at the corpse that was right in front of me. The one person who understood me, who talked to me, who cried with me, who smiled with me, w-w-who loved me.
Her eyes faded gray and her tears shining gold. I fall into my knees and put my hands on the sides of my head thinking to myself that this was all a nightmare. I opened my eyes and still see the corpse. I back away and when I turn around I see
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These Beautiful Dots >u<
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Igneel and Natsu
Their eyes with horror
Their knees shaking
Their mind trembling
"No! ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK I SWEAR! I-I-I HAD TO DO THIS TO PROTECT! I SWEAR *sobs* I DIDN'T WANT TO!

Igneel and NatsuTheir eyes with horrorTheir knees shakingTheir mind trembling"No! ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK I SWEAR! I-I-I HAD TO DO THIS TO PROTECT! I SWEAR *sobs* I DIDN'T WANT TO!

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They walk away with the deadliest glare. I stare at them as they fade away into the light

 I stare at them as they fade away into the light

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They don't believe me. I shouldn't trust anyone.
They shouldn't trust me.
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I wake up with 6 figures over my head

It was Natsu, Lucy, Happy, Gray, Erza, and Myself

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It was Natsu, Lucy, Happy, Gray, Erza, and Myself.
"Are you ok?"-Lucy
I sit up and look around. All that sorrow and sadness was just a fucking dream. Does the world hate me that much. Does it toy with my emotions just for fun? Am I not worthy of feeling happiness?
"I'm fine"-Me
I walk away and go outside to see that it's still night. I look up to see the stars. I know I'll find scarlex. But not dead, if I do and I find out who did it. Their body will suffer, their eyes will lose sanity. Their skin will be covered in nothing but blood.
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I go back inside and see that everyone went back to sleep. I know I can't anymore so I stay up and research how I can return. And I found a way.
This is what I have to say while using my hyper power
"Watashi no kako o kotei suru koto ga dekimasen. Watashi no sentakushi wa sudeni okonawa remashita. Kore wa watashi ga hoshī monodesu. Kore wa watashi ga daredesu."
(Google it >uo)
I started to glow. And I know that once I leave all of this will be forgotten.
I faded into a dimension that was my own. I was home and see Natsu sleeping and Happy knocked out next to him. Maybe. Maybe all I bring to Fairy Tail is sorrow. Should I leave? Should I just drop dead?
=time skip (I skipped the whole S trial thing so it's been 7 years yata yata yata)=
So how we are going to something called the "Grand Magic Games"
And since we're weak as fuck right now, we have two teams
Team A:
Natsu
Erza
Gray
Lucy
Me
Team B:
Mirajane
Gajeel
Laxus
Juvia
Mystogan
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Wonder what shit will pop up now =w=
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Ya'll know me always late =w= Ik Ik I play too much Elsword but what can I say it's fun  ω soooo ya I shall update the next time I'm bored :/
-HR19

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