Dear John
I don't know how to say this to you but I might as well now as I have nothing to lose. I've already lost everything. If you're reading this I might have already left or about to leave. I am broken inside. You may not have known this but you affected me deeply to a point where I lost myself in loving you. Yet you tortured me everyday.
These days I see no light I wake up not wanting to wake up. There was a time I saw my life with you, a future with you. But you shattered my dreams. I feel dead inside. I've never given so much of myself to someone or cared so much. You returned my love with cheating and lies. It didn't matter how many gifts I gave you or how beautiful I looked for you. You have caused me everyday has destroyed every bit of me, destroyed my soul. I can't eat or sleep or think or function. I am running away from everything.
When I first met you I was driven, ambitious and disciplined. Then I fell for you, a love I thought would bring out the best in me. I don't know why destiny brought us together. I didn't see any love or commitment from you. I just became increasingly scared that you would hurt me mentally or physically. Your life was about partying. I never told you but I received a message about you. About you cheating on me. I chose to ignore it, decided to trust you. You embarrassed me. I never went out, I never went with anyone else. I am a loyal person.
Things were looking up for me here, but is it worth it when you constantly feel the pain of heartbreak when the person you love wants to abuse you or threatens to hit you or cheats on you telling other girls they are beautiful or throws you out of their house when you have nowhere to go and you've come to them out of love or when they lie to your face or they make you chase after them in their car. Or disrespects their family. You tore my soul.
All you want in life is partying, your women and your selfish motives. All I wanted was you and my happiness you took both away from me. I spent money on you selflessly you would throw in my face. When I would cry for you. I have nothing left in this world to live for after this.
I wish you had loved me like I loved you. I dreamt of our future. I dreamt of our success. I leave this place with nothing but broken dreams and empty promises. All I want now is to go to sleep and never wake up again. I am nothing. I had everything. I felt so alone even while with you. You made me feel alone and vulnerable. I am so much more than this.
