His Not So Real Love

Pregnant and Stay

Ian's Pov

Can a person hate his own freaking last name? 

Well thanks to Maya, now , I do hate or even loath mine.

"Mr. Mathews" that was all she used to acknowledge me since my company merged with Nickolas's, one week ago. 

I thought that by merging the companies and moving to a new office in Nickolas's company was going to be beneficial and that somehow I will be able to ask for Maya's forgiveness but the latter didn't cross my way. I didn't see her around , well at least not alone. She was always with Nick and even if I intruded and interfered in their friendly conversations, her only acknowledgements of me were my last name and some nodding.

She said that we are not friends. That statement may sound truthful to her and to others but it kind of caused me a great pain. I don't know why but I felt a kind of a pull for Maya. I never really knew her as a person but since that doomed wedding day, her name brought a smile to my face and her picture constantly popped in my dreams and thoughts. 

I tried to find reasons to why I started to angrily kiss her whenever I saw her with another guy, I tried to explain why I marked her neck with a hickey, I tried to do my best to question my obsessive need of her being  near me but I found no answer. 

All I know is that Maya is not my type. She not blond, skinny or has a barbie-like figure. She is just a curvy brunette with dark vibrant eyes. She was not sophisticated and classy but feisty and kind. Most of all Maya was not needy like all the girls I dated. No she was independent and in no need for me. 

She said it wide and clear she has no place for me in her life. But something in me needs her.

I might be  unneeded. But she is not.

For the very first time I am being the rejected instead of the reject(er) and   let me tell you that this position is hellish. 

I got frustrated again and tried to get Maya out of my head. I looked at the file between my hands but my brain kept on repeating the same questions " why am I chasing Maya?" "Do I want her as a friend or more? and is this more emotional or mere physical?" "How could I care about a girl this much when I am already in love with another?" " Why did I suddenly stopped thinking about Rose? My Rose. My perfect woman. The one I loved since I was a teen. The one that I promised to win her love again and start a family with her...

I am in love with Rose but Maya became a distraction instead of a means to get to Rose!

I need to stay away from Maya and focus on Rose, my Rose.

As I made my goals clear again a faint giggle reached my ears. It was faint yet I felt like it was mocking my plans. I knew who it belonged to. I knew it because it tormented me before and it still does. I diverted my eyes from the file between my hands and looked at the glass wall that separated my office from the rest of the company and there she was "Maya". She was standing with Nick and another guy waiting for the elevator. The latter looked familiar.  I think that he is the same guy from her restaurant date. In moments that guy's hand sneaked behind Maya and enveloped her in a tight side hug. I continued to watch waiting for a violent reaction from her but nothing...Instead, she in few seconds leaned her head on his shoulder and hugged his waist...

The scene continued to play in front of me for god knows how much time and then the elevator dinged announcing that it reached the floor. Will she leave with him? My breathes suddenly hitched and my heart crazily throbbed against my chest. I felt some pain starting in the pit of my stomach and then reaching my chest...What the hell is wrong with me?