"wake the fuck up you fucking disappointments." raven yelled at her children anthony, merlinda, haley, brodicc, and ehthat who all shared a room. "you shouldn't be so mean to the kids." dylan, ravens new husband of 10 years, told her. "well then you wake them up!" she yelled, and dylan proceeded to slam all of the children out of their beds. "good morning!" he said cheerfully to the now crying children.
"merlinda my dear neice can you please control these children." zach, ravens brother had said slowly slitting his throat open. "um sure lol." she said ignoring the fact that her suicidal uncle was dying right in front of her. "doNT GET MY FLOOR STAINED AGAIN." dawson said throwing zach out of the 37383937 stories high window before the blood got on the marvel floor. "dad what the fuck? now who's going to feed the cat?" raven said. "we dont have a cat." dawson said back. "o u rite."
"wait, who tf is gonna clean up that dead body outside our house?" anthony asked, fucking confused. "did i say to ask questions? no i said to fucking pack you ungrateful fucks, dr. quiton is waiting in the RV." raven yelled and they started packing their bags with grumpy mumbles. "mom where are we going?" brodicc, raven and dylan's actual child, asked. "to go see grandpa hammond, he keeps calling and it's annoying. if we see him he'll stop."
suddenly a phone rang and everyone checked to see if it was theirs. "why did we all agree to each have 4 phones fucc." anthony said searching in his hair. "it'S MINE U DUMBASSES." haley said sprinting out of the room to answer. it was a facetime call from grandpa hammond who just got the new iphone 1. "is this thing on??" he said squinting to see the screen. "who is that ugly squid looking- hALEY, haley is that u??" he said almost dropping the phone. "yes grandpa, we're on our way." haley said loudly enough for her grandpa to hear. quietly grandpa hammond whispered, "i dont want her to come, oH THIS THING IS STILL ON??" he said squinting again. "grandpa what the fcuk it was never off??" haley said a tear dropping from her eye. raven being the hoe that she is sNATCHED the phone from haley and began talking to him instead.
"are you calling to ask if we're coming? i already fuckin told you were are you fuckin computer monitor look-" and then dylan snatched the phone like the rude ass he is bc he didn't want grandpa hammond to get his shit crazy roasted. he was just an old man, after all. "we'll call when we're almost there bye." he said before hanging up. "eVERYONE FUCKIN PACK UP SO WE CAN GET HIM TO LEAVE US ALONE!!!" dawson yelled, not wanting to see grandpa but he knew if he didn't there would be screaming and he didn't need another 2479 migraines.
"can i bring my pet lizard." brodicc asked holding a smol string in his hands. "fUCK NO." raven said slapping the string out of his hands instantly falling from the 37383937 stories high window. "i loved that lizard like it was a brother." brodicc said crying hysterically. "he's fuckin weird." merlinda said to anthony while whispering. "you're telling me." he said grabbing an actual lizard from the floor and eating it whole. "what the fuck." merlinda had said while anthony shrugged. "LETS FUCKING GO WE'RE WASTING TIME HERE." dawson said yelling so loud that it broke haleys glass shoes. "thanks." said whiping yet another tear away. "we're already in the fucking van." raven said closing the door behind her. "you right." he said sitting down and getting confortable for this long trip.
