NO LOVE

CHAPTER 6

ALINA'S POV

My eyelids felt heavy, my entire body exhausted as I lay next to Jason, my head resting on his chest, his fingers playing with my hair.

The room is silent until I sigh, whispering, "Jason?"

He hums, his nose nuzzled in my hair, "Yes, sweetheart?"

I gulp, my fingers fiddling with a piece of the sheet that was wrapped around the two of us, "did you mean what you said earlier?"

"About?" I inhale a large breath, trailing my finger over his abs, "about me not seeing Owen again," I turn around, laying on my stomach while laying my head on his chest again.

He looks at me, his eyebrows slightly furrowed and his lips pursed, "yes, I meant it."

I frown, "But why can't I see him, you see other girls all the time, how come I can't date other guys?"

"I never said you can't date him, I asked you if you wanted us to stop and you said no, I'm not sharing you with him so that's why I asked you to stop seeing him, I didn't force you to promise me but you did," his voice gets lower, it sounds like he's getting frustrated.

"But you didn't fight fair," I whisper, looking up at him.

"What do you mean?" He asks, and this time he's frowning.

"You were touching me," I sit up and look down at him, holding the covers to my chest, "and I can't think straight when you do that."

"What are you saying, Alina?" His eyes are narrowed, jaw clenching, "do you WANT to date him or something?" And now he sounds angry again.

"I don't know!" I exclaim, a lump in my throat, "you confuse me, you always do. When I walked in here this evening, I was thinking 'oh my gosh, Owen is such a nice guy and I like him so much' but then I came into my room and you were here, we did what we did and then I end up comparing him to you and then you just win hands down. Stop doing this to me, Jason, you make everything harder to deal with."

Tears are pooling my eyes now and I look away from him, shifting to stand up from the bed but he grabs my arm, "hey, no," he sits up and pulls me onto him, "what's wrong, why are you getting so upset?"

His hand cups my cheek, while his thumb strokes my skin and I gulp, shaking my head slightly, "because I don't know what to do anymore, Jason, I like him but not as much as I like you and I'm so scared to talk to you about this because I don't want you to get angry."

"I'm not angry," he frowns, "I don't want you to be scared to talk to me, I would never hurt you, ever," he tilts my head up with his fingers under my chin, "I'm gonna ask you again .. Do you want to date him?" He asks, his voice gentle and his eyes soft, staring into mine.

"If I say yes," I place my hand on his, licking my lips, "what would you do?"

"I'd have to leave you alone then," he says, his facial expression impassive.

"Like .. never see me, ever?" I ask, my breathing getting heavier and the lump in my throat returning.

"No," he shakes his head, wrapping his arms around my waist, "no, I could never let you go completely."

My heart melts, holy cow, "then what do you mean?"

"We can't sleep together anymore," as soon as the words escape his lips, his face scrunches up, "holy fuck, that sounded less terrible in my head."

I giggle, shoving his chest, "Jason, this is a serious conversation, be serious."

He half smiles, "I'm not gonna lie, I don't want you to date him," he smirks, "because if you date him .. I wouldn't be able to do this anymore.." He leans in and kisses me softly on my lips, his arms tightening around my waist.

There it is. That heated attraction between the two of us, the burning need I have for him to touch me, it's completely erotic and disconcerting.

"Jason." I moan, pulling back from his kiss, "don't do that when we're talking."

"Why not?" He mumbles, burying his head in my neck while leaving a few kisses.

"Jason, I'm trying to talk to you about this and you're distracting me."

He sighs, pulling back and looking me in the eye, "what do you wanna talk about, Alina?"

I shrug, fiddling with my fingers, "I don't know, like .. what you'd say if I dated Owen or any guy for that matter .."

"What do you want me to say, Al?" He sighs in exasperation, "we had a deal, we made rules, one of those rules were if you find someone, I leave you alone. If that's what you want, I'll do it," he says, his tone clipped and annoyed.

I frown, sliding off of his lap while folding my arms across my chest, "you don't have to be so rude, Jason."

He groans, laying his head against the headboard, "Fuckinh hell Alina, what the hell do you want from me? Date the fucking asshole if you want to because honestly, I don't give a flying fuck, I could get a new chick to bang really fast, I've got nothing to lose." Ouch.

My heart sinks and I feel tears start to run down my cheeks, I lay down on the bed, my back facing him as I clutch the covers to my chest, "Go home, Jason."

I hear him sigh, "Alina I'm‐"

"I want you to go home. Now, Jason." The room is silent for a moment before I hear him get up and put his clothes on.

I wipe my eyes, still holding the covers close to me.

He walks around the bed and crouches down in front of me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, "Good night," he kisses my forehead before he's out the door.

I sob, burying my head in my pillow. He's such a jerk, so why do I love him so damn much?

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Oh oh Jason's being a dick 

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lots of love

Pragu:)