So Sorry, Lover (Oliver Sykes X Reader)

The bridge

Swinging my dangling legs, I turned to Oliver who sat next to me.

 "Have you ever thought about jumping?" I quietly ask. 

I know I have. He looked up at me so startling, I almost fell off. "No." He says curtly. He always gets offended like this when I ask something personal. 

"Oli," I start off. "I know we've been friends for only a month now but-" "Not now." He cuts me off and stands up. His brown locks shone in the dying light. "What?" I ask. "I'm- I'm not ready for a-a girlfriend." He stumbles.

 Looking at him confusedly for a few seconds and he gets that that's not what I was going to ask. "I- I'm sorry..." Laughing, I say, "it's okay. I was just gonna say that I feel like I hardly know you" He sits back down and stares into the darkening waters below us. "Sometimes..." He starts off. "Sometimes I... Feel like I don't know who I am either, you know?" He lies down, an arm and a leg dangling. 

"It's like... It's like sometimes... I feel like running through green fields and dancing and singing and watching the sun set and painting and hiking and actually living while other times... I feel like locking myself in a dark room, crying silently and watching the moon rise and looking at my bleeding wrists and-"

 Oliver stops talking as tears roll down his cheeks. For a few minutes, neither of us say anything. I look at the sloshing waves roll underneath and inhale sharply. 

"Oli... I totally understand. I totally get how you feel. Utter joy. Crippling misery. I've seen it all."

 I look down at the blackish water again. I swing my legs back onto the ledge of the bridge and stand up. "Come on." I extend my hand to him and he takes it. We both stare into the burning horizon. I turn to him. His brown eyes that held sorrow. His brown hair that reflected sunlight perfectly. "Scream" I tell him. "Scream out everything." He smiles and let's out the most demonic and pained and piercing screech I have ever heard. He looks back at me grinning. "That felt really, really good." He says. "Well..." I say. The darkness envelopes us a little bit more and I know I should head home. I tell Oli this and give him a tight hug. "See you tomorrow" I say and trudge back home.

(A/n: I'm sorry this chapter is short. I'm writing like 4 things at once and I'm going back to school tomorrow so idk when I'll update again so here ya go!)