Im black? My hair and I have a really long ar eautifly retched history. Its not that I don't think my hair is beautiful , that shit is just unmanageable. Honestly as a black women in this world you have and will always have an unrealistic expectations about your hair and look because of the dominated society we live in.But when you start unconditioning that thinking that siliky hair is not the norm and you should be yourself.This is an outcry from a black girl that gets knots and tangles and has broken a few comes in her 20 year life span.There should be a plaque somewhere that sais 2 decade strong because my being 20 is a shit show.
My hair is the sugar on top of that shit show. I am in the age of loving the natural hair. The media loves the curly and beautifly tamed manageable curls but not the kinky, tangled , dry hair on my head. Pantene , venus, platex I see you and I sure as hell am not believing you.I am not saying my hair is not beautiful im saying for a 20 somrthing college student with 2 jobs and a boyfriend I have no time. Spending litarally 3 hours of my life to was dry pre-poo, blow dry, lock method and the sheding is ridiculous.I did a big chop 4 years ago sophomore year of highschool.
This is a problem basicly, I HAVE A BAD RELATIONSHIP WITH MY HAIR. The length coarseness the curls and kinks but its doesn't lay flat. I always have flyaways and I envy people who can get up and go. I dontlike perm it bruns and im not going back to that. I don't like wigs honestly that shit is expensive and my parting on a lace cap is always wrong. It looks weird and it doesn't match. Im always self contious. This was brought on because I straighten my hair for the first time on high heat and it kinda lays flat. I thought my boyfriend notice and like it (he was responsive but so underwhelming) Men. As I type this im scared that my hair wont revert. A week ago I got tired of the routine and die my hair because I needed change. The fear that I need hair to feel womanly and unashamed is so demoralizing.
So listen party people I don't need pity but this is my diary for frustrations and life. I wine we all do. I love my hair but it un- manageable. Side eye to people that scream protective styles.
1. Bad at it
2. Fuck youtube videos (im still bad at it)
Next time on the combing chronicles: Annother black girls pain
