Under the Willow: sequel to Deep in the Meadow

|16| crying good-bye

There is an odd moment of silence as I try to announce Selena, but it still doesn't feel real to me. Selena was my ally, the person that saved me, my family, and my friends. How can she be dead! Someone like her doesn't deserve to die! Anyone like Oden, Pollux, Castor, or Selena do not deserve to die! This is my fault. I killed them. I let Kennedy reach them by telling him that I left them behind. This is my fault.

"Katniss?" Peeta asks beside me giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. I break out of my daze and look at him hoping that he can't tell that I have taken the credit for their deaths. Peeta would surely try to persuade me otherwise but I know better.

"Ehhem," I clear my crackly throat.
"Next is Selena Kit." I remember Selena's last name from that day in the Torture gym when she let me see my children and husband in their cells. She showed me her golden mockingjay coin which had the words.. Selena Kit, Capitol alliance, engraved on the surface.

"Selena was our ally." Peeta starts, knowing that I won't be able to be the first one to talk about Selena.
"She was an ally despite all the lies fed to her during her life in the Capitol. She sided with Katniss and the districts without thought, knowing that it could cost her life if President Snow or even if his son West found out. Not to mention she joined a group of a small amount of people, resulting in her joining the only alliance in the Capitol sided with the districts. The Capitol Alliance.
I could tell that Selena wanted to do the right thing no matter the costs in the limited time we knew her. She was determined to side with the right people and betray the wrong ones. And she was loyal to her word no matter what. If she said she was going to help us in our second rebellion, she was going to do it. And she did, greatly." Peeta tells the sorrowful crowd. Selena's parents, sister and brother-in-law are still all holding hands. Her mothers face is beat-red in sadness, along with her sisters. Selena's father's beard covers most his face, but the section I can see is slick with tears and sweat.

I decide out of no where that it's my turn to talk. Even though Selena and the rest don't deserve to be dead, they are. And since they are I might as well appreciate them because they defiantly deserve at least that.

"Selena wasn't just our ally though." I announce, building off of Peeta's well-worded speech. Everyone directs their attention to me.
"She was a friend as well. She didn't know the real me until I was captured by West, but she was on my side, trusting that I was like the girl that I was when the first rebellion struck. We became friends and she defied West by letting me see my family and helping us escape. We couldn't of ever escaped without her. We would probably be dead if she wouldn't of friended us. Selena, Oden and the Capitol alliance would risk a lashing to help us out... and bravery like that will be appreciated." I say.

"May I also add.." Effie Trinket's feathery voice rises from the crowd.
"Selena volunteered to die in the Mellarks house when Kennedy had us at gun point. As did Pollux. Kennedy told us that as our torture he would kill us one by one as we watched, so Pollux automatically stepped forward to be killed so no one had to go first, and I think he was also giving us time to try and escape but we couldn't make a move before Kennedy fired and Pollux dropped dead. Next was Selena. She raised her hand and stepped forward in hopes to give us time, but she was already shot before we could do anything. It takes guts to give you life so others could possibly keep theirs, and Selena has had that quality we whole life." Effie says, dabbing her eyes with a fluorescent purple handkerchief.

I nod agreeing and wipe my tears off my eyes. I'm trying to continue talking but I can't.

I lean against Peeta's strong shoulder and bury my head in his shirt. The crowd is a mess too, especially Selena's family.
Peeta knows it's time to bury Selena, so he says,
"From the earth she came, to the earth she will return." And lowers his head and leaves my side to position himself beside her casket. Gale, Haymitch, and Selena's dad all lift her casket with Peeta and set her in the grave.

Now all three bodies are in the holes.

"All three of them died risking their lives, saving other people. So this day of celebrating their lives will not be forgotten." I say concluding the funeral.

"Thankyou all for coming and thankyou, Mr. Matthews, Mrs. Matthews, Mr. Kit, and Mrs. Kit, for raising wonderful loyal children." Peeta adds causing both families to cry harder. The only person not crying is Oden's sister Quinn.

The men take the ending of the funeral to fill in the holes with dirt, and when they are done we wish everyone goodbye.

"It was nice of you to come." I tell Oden's family. I'm a little more put-together now that I'm not crying as much.

"Well, it was nice of you to hold a funeral for our son. Thankyou." Says his mother. Her red hair looks like a rats nest on her head now that it's messed up horribly.

"It's no problem. Someone like him deserves to be appreciated." I tell them. Him father nods and wishes me a good day before they walk off to say one last goodbye to their son's grave, before they leave.

I go to Selena's family and tell them what an honor it was to know their daughter and they thank me for everything. I hug her mother and then they leave.

Everyone else has left just as the sun dips below the horizon.

"We should probably get home." Peeta says. Rye is sleeping in his arms. It's amazing how big Rye has gotten. From the time he was 10 months in the Capitol, to now where he is one year old, there has been a lot of change in him. He wakes up less at night, but still has nightmares. And his legs have gotten stronger.
My baby boy is growing up too fast.

"Yea." I answer casting a goodbye look at the three fresh graves and then Castors older one. I still have a gut feeling that Selena, Oden, and Pollux and dead because of my actions. The more I think about it the more it makes sense. If I wouldn't of ran away alone and then told Kennedy that I was alone, they might be still alive.

We arrive at the house and I bath Rye and Willow before putting them to bed. Peeta reads them a story and we sing Willow "Deep in the meadow" as she falls to sleep.

"I know what your thinking." Peeta tells me sternly in the living room. We sit in silence on the couch. The front window is still broken from when Johanna and I broke into our house, so a fresh breeze blows on us.

"What?" I ask startled at his statement.

He turns my head so I can look him deeply in his eyes.
"Don't blame yourself. I've told you this hundreds of time.. It's not your fault." He tells me in all seriousness. Peeta is very good at telling my emotions, and he has defiantly read this one.

"Peeta, you don't understand! If wouldn't of ran away from you and everyone else to do Kennedy's ignorant scavenger hunt, they would still be alive. It was my idea and my fault that he found out I was alone and got to you guys!" I yell.

"Katniss! Listen to me. Kennedy killed them not you. No one could stop Kennedy from killing them, no one. It doesn't matter if you told him where we were or not, he killed them. It was his choice!" Peeta yells. I realize I'm crying again.

"Thank You Peeta." I almost whisper. Then I lean my head on his shoulder and cry. I cry because I miss Selena, Pollux, and Oden. I cry because of all the people that died in the first and second rebellion. But I also cry because we are free from the Capitol. Everyone who was loyal to West are dead, and the very last person, Kennedy, is finally dead. We are safe. There is no one left to try and take power.

We are finally safe, and I am not afraid to say it anymore.