You Saved Me

Hour Three: Miserable

It's just heavy breathing.

"Blair? Are you okay? Where are you?"

"Blair? That bitch is dead."

I quickly hang up the phone in shock.

The second period bell rings.

"Kate," Noah calls.

"Yeah," I look up but everything is fuzzy. My eyes start to droop and I take a dizzy step back.

"Kate!"

---

"Kate, open your eyes. C'mon! Oh Kate thank goodness I thought you weren't going to wake up for a while," Noah sits back in relief and I take a moment to realize we are on the floor.

"How long was I out for?"

"10 minutes," he looks at his watch and tells me. 

Then it all comes back to me in a thought that punches the breath from my lungs. Blair is dead. That guy found her. Killed her and no one was there to save her.

Maybe she's not dead and just found her phone! Yeah I'll think about that for a while. I try and replace images of a dead Blair with good memories but the thought itches my brain like a terrible mosquito bite. I start to cry. I don't think I've cried this much in a long time.

My  already heavy heart breaks open and leaks out more sadness and tears as I reach for my phone to get ahold of Alex.

Noah is at my side in a minute, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as my shaky hands type the text that I got a call from "Blair". Noah, reading over my shoulder, gets the message that I just heard the news of Blair being dead and pulls me tight against him.

I lean my head up against his shoulder and sob, letting all my emotions out at once through every single tear. After my crying fit I roll over on to the floor and close my eyes. I wish I could just sleep for the rest of the day and forget about all of this. My eyes sting as more tears roll to the floor. My heart breaks over and over again that the most innocent one of our group. The one that was supposed to live to be a great grandma and have ten kids. All of that was taken from her in an instant.

She was probably so scared and all alone, no one was there to stop her crying or pain. Did she die instantly? Or did she have to suffer? Is she still suffering?

The thought makes me cringe and I run to the nearest garbage and vomit. She was destined to do great things. I lay back next to the can and sigh in defeat.

"Kate, listen, it might not be true. Really! Listen, Blair could have easily dropped her phone and ran to safety and her ringtone has been going off the hook if she dropped it so obviously the person would pick it up," Noah reasons.

"I thought that too, but this just feels so real, it's like One Tree Hill. How could this happen but not everything works out the way you want it. A-a-a-nd Blair just. It's too real this time. I feel it in my heart," I whisper and close my eyes. The image of Blair, Alex and I rooming at FIT shatters behind my eyelids and a lone tear escapes from between my lashes.

"Oh, Kate. I'm so sorry, I can't imagine what this is like for you."

I don't answer because if I do I'll cry again and if I cry I won't stop. Because the stress and sadness of so many little things are threatening to escape my closing threat and I swallow a huge lump. I roll over to my stomach and after a few moments I mutter, "I need gum."

Noah rushes over to his bag and I almost laugh at how fast he runs to his bag. As if going any slower will break me. My lips twitch and I breathe for a second before I put the piece in my mouth.

"You know, that seven year thing of swallowing gum is a myth," I start a random conversation.

"Is that true?"

"Yep, gum can't be digested so you do get rid of it sooner rather than later," I nod to myself.

"Crazy. What other facts do you know?"

"During your lifetime, you will produce enough saliva for two swimming pools."

"Really? What else you got?"

"85% of people can curl their tongue into a cube," I attempt it myself after but I fail.

"Why do you know so many mouth facts?"

"Well, when you use it all the time you need to know the history behind it," that seemed like an kind of dirty answer and my face blushes and Noah smirks but I can't backtrack now.

"You know your mouth doesn't let you take back what you said. No matter how hard you try," I quickly state after.

"I can tell," he laughs.

He stays smiling at me for a second too long and I ask him, "What?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing," he claims and looks away. I find it weird but let it drop.

"Hey, we should get rid of this vomit," I stand up.

"We? No thanks," Noah scoffs and I give him the puppy dog face. He glares at me and walks away so I know I have to do it on my own.

I pick up the bag and walk to the bathroom in the library to dump it in the toilet.  The action of doing this makes me gag and I quickly flush the toilet. Now that I'm alone again Blair is the only thing on my mind. I can't believe it. How? It's terrifying and I could never imagine myself in this situation. I can't even imagine myself in the problem I'm in now!

Before I break down again I wash my hands and leave the bathroom. On my way back to Noah I pick up Little Women to pass the time. Opening it, I begin to read.

After a few minutes I realize I haven't been walking back to Noah and he's probably wondering where I am. I take a candy wrapper I found in my pocket and place it as the bookmark. Weaving my way through the shelves I finally find Noah again sitting at a table doing math.

"This is just so complicated," he groans to me when I sit next to him.  I can see he's at a more complex problem but I just let him do it himself.

"Try," I simply say and open my book again.  Blindly, I reach for my bag and rummage through it to find my water. A few things fall out in the process but I can just pick them up later. When I get hold of my water more things fall out and I think to myself that I should probably clean out my bag but I'll do that later too.

"I did it!"

"Congrats. Now shhh let me finish," I whisper.

"I'll clean up your things," he tells me.

"Thanks, peasant."

From the corner of my eye I see him picking up multiple things and then pick up something and look at it curiously.

"Kate? What's this?"

When I look over I scan what the pill bottle says.

Shit, he found out.