This Side Of Paradise

'-_two_-'

A/N: so I know I keep reposting these chapters over and over, it's because of all the editing I'm doing. And I'm just trying to make it better. Indeed, I am working on an actual update it's just slow juggling all of my school work. I appreciate all the reads I've been getting and everything else. Y'all are great!! Okay sorry for the long A/N!

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To explain the last month and would be like explaining the shape of a ball, it's a sphere and it's going to be round. School is going to be school and it's boring. Nothing interests me exactly, I have classes like everyone else, I go to gym where most of the girls sit on the bleachers, text on their phones,or posting pictures on Snapchat of the football players practicing. There are certain things here where I question the intelligence of the kids at this school, like flipping a bottle to make it land right-side up or how the girls break dress code to show off their extra goodies for the 10 minutes that they step into school before getting sent to ISS by a teacher. Maybe James was right, this school is filled with fools and I might just be the one person who has a higher IQ than a chimpanzee. Sometimes I will even catch James make a dumb remark.

This place makes me feel really lonely, even though I have James, I can't tell him everything. I don't think he would understand, no one would. I can't even talk to my parents about school because talking to my dad is like talking to a robot automated to say, "Hang on, I have a call coming." and my mom won't shut up with her A.A. talk and how her Higher Power will save her from her old drunken self. Even if I were to go on with her charade of A.A. bullcrap, she starts to tear up and start apologizing to me. I know she means well, but if every time we do talk and all she brings up is the car crash then we would never move on. It's amazing though, I was in almost a week long coma with broken ribs and splintered shin and all I have left are a few scars and a bit of an ache when it gets too cold. I don't blame my mom though, car accidents happen all the time, but maybe if she hadn't drank so much before she picked me up from practice we wouldn't have had such a high medical bill. Don't you think it's ironic that the drunk person who is driving never gets hurt, but the people in the car or the other car gets damaged. The innocent get mauled by the careless and the calculating, how undignifying.

I'm walking into my last class for that day as I see a girl named Natalie smile and wave me over right outside the girls bathroom. I walk over and prepare myself to tell her, "No I don't have perfume or makeup you can borrow. Hey, maybe MacKenzie does!" and walk away. This wasn't the case today though.

"Hey. Where's James?" She says so sweetly, too sweetly.

"Not not sure. Doesn't he have Pre-Cal? Or is it Welding? I don't keep tabs on him."

"He sure keeps tabs on you." She smirks and wiggles her eyebrows playfully.

"Umm." Is all I can say, before I start laughing. When I first met James, he was very cute, but now that I know him it's like having a brother that I never wanted but adore anyway.

"You haven't noticed?! He likes you, alot. I think he going to take you out tonight for a movie, at least that's what I overheard."

I sort of roll my eyes. James, we talked about this.

About a week ago he tried to ask me to go to the school's last football game before the winter break and I agreed, thinking I'd get a free ride and time to hang out with a friend. But he shows up to my house with some flowers and looking nicely dressed. His hair was still damp from a shower and smelled of heavy Axe cologne and had the biggest smile when he saw me. I looked very underdressed, even though we both wore jeans, he just seemed to be spiffier than i was.

"Hey." He said very coolie.

"Hey, so food before or after?" I said, but then notice how he was looking at me and it fully registered. The flowers, the soft eyes, and the overuse of cologne. James thought this was a date! I blushed furiously and looked at him. "James, I really really appreciate everything you've done for me." He nodded like a little kid and kept smiling. "But, we can't date. Or whatever you are trying to make this to be."

His eyes glazed over but other than that, his face didn't shift. "I understand, but take these." He paused when I didn't reach for them. "Please."

I took them, invited him in and put them in a vase. He didn't sit on the couch like he usually does when he comes over, just stood there, he was unsure of himself. I walked to the front door and gestured for him to follow and he did. No comments were made. He went to the game, laughing and talking like nothing odd had just happened at my door step. I did notice that he doesn't hug me as much and our talks a bit less intimate, like we don't talk about anything worth talking about.

So hearing this from Natalie makes me ache, I don't want to relive telling him no. He was so sweet and I think I could call him my best friend or at least the only friend that mattered. And that's my last thought when he came up to me standing next to Natalie who stepped inside the bathroom to mostly likely turn on her heel and put her ear against the door.

"Hey. What class do you have next?" I ask.

"Nothing really important, welding." His smile is brighter than ever and he has a small little overlap with his two bottom front teeth, it at least shows he's not all perfect.

"Oh well, I have a study hall."

"Can I walk you?"

"Sure. I mean, if you have nothing better to do." My eyebrow raises and a smirk forms on my mouth, knowing he will be late to class if he walks me.

After walking a little bit down the hall he asks, "What are you doing? I mean, like this evening?"

"Probably going to watch some Netflix or sit at home. Nothing of major importance." I shrug my shoulders because it's true. I never do anything worthwhile. I only went to a school event that one time with James when we tried to ask me out. Other than school and occasionally going to a restaurant with the family, I don't go out. Call me a hermit, if you must.

"Would you like to go to the movies? Tonight, with me?" He says very sheepishly.

I turn and look at him. I hate that he had to bring this up with me again, but I admire his vigor. I just can't though. Not after what my ex did to me at my old school. Public humiliation, pictures posted all over social media, and having to explain to my parents the whole situation. I was not in the mood for a re-run and I just wasn't ready for a relationship. Dragging James down Pity Party Lane wasn't an ideal idea. Plus if he hurt me, I think I wouldn't make it in this school. I would have no one to talk to, I'd be a true outcast. James is my only friend and I would never ruin that with a relationship.

"James." I sign.

"No, please. Jewel, I want to take you out. You never go out." He says and looks down.

Shocked I reply with some anger in my voice. "And you plan to manage how I spend my free time? Maybe I just don't want to hang out with you! Maybe that's it! Don't tell me how to spend my me time!"

He looks shriveled and hurt, like I beat him back down into being a little kid. "I mean. I just thought that you got lonely home alone. I didn't want.... I'm sorry. Maybe if you don't like hanging out with me." He paused and I thought he was going to cry, but he moved his glare from his shoes to my face. "You should make some new friends." He practically spit at me.

With that he turned around and walked away, where Natalie was peeking from the restroom. I knew it was only a matter of time till people started thinking I was a bitch. Luckily I only had to go to my next class and then it would be winter break. The end of school.

And when I got home, I did what I was told. I started making new friends.