This Side Of Paradise

'-_ten_-'

A/N

I thought this song... kinda of played a part in this book. Idk, plus i love this song xD

I'm going through some rough editing on this book because I feel it needs to be a lot better than it is at the moment. I also am sorry for the late update because Smut gives me the shivers. I get really nervous when I write it and it usually turns out choppy. I was debating if I was going to put some in here or not. So yeah. Thank you guys for the reads sooo much :) 200+ already :) pssshhh, love yall.

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"Please... S-stop." My voice vaulters. Scared of what might happen Aidan's never pushed himself on me in anyway till now. And it's was terrifying.

He continues to trail kisses down my neck and on my collar bone. And even thought it felt nice my body was tense and tears threatened to spill out of my eyes. My heart hammered in my chest but at the same time I was afraid to breathe.

"Aidan!" I cried out.

The tears finally pouring out of the corner of my eyes. He hands trailed down to my lower hip bone, threatening to touch me somewhere where he wasn't invited. I was choking on my sobs because laying on my back and being pinned down by some who's probably 80+ pounds more than you doesn't invite room to breathe properly. I tried to catch my breath but it was hard.

He finally looked up at me and his face softened. I saw the way his jaw clinched though as he moved off of me. He murmured something I couldn't hear as he got up and walked over to slip on his shoes. He grabbed the room key, the only one we had walked out the door with a slam.

I was left laying there with tears drying on my face and my heart to slow down. I ran my tongue over my teeth, upset with this whole situation.

I fucking can't take this. I need to get out. I've been stuck in the room way too long.

I walk to the bathroom and look at myself. I never used the hair dye kit yet. But I have tried to strip the red out of my hair and it isn't exactly working. It's a odd fiery orange now and my pale face is splotchy from crying. I look like a damn clown.

I search through my designated makeup bag for the dying kit hoping I can cover up the orange with a dark brown. Finding it I start going through this process which seems to come easily for me.

I guess I used to dye my hair a lot. I sigh from not having memories of dying my hair but my body knowing he motions and process.

-(later)-

I look at myself in the mirror. A pair of Jeans and a crop flannel from Macy's is what I decided to wear. I rolled up my sleeves to stop at my elbow and I put in my "belly button piercing" is what Aidan called it. It was silver and had a dream catcher dangling from it. The difficulty of screwing it on was frustrating and I almost gave up. The crop top stopped right above my piercing and it looks okay. Sexy even.

From spending time watching lots of YouTube videos about makeup off of Aidan's phone helped me a bunch. I winged my eyes with black liner and applied mascara. My lips looked plump with the plum colored drainer I put on. I looked bold and sexy with my hair in a bun, showing off my sharp features. The dark brown hair really suited me in a way the red didn't.

I'm doing this.... I'm going. To. Do. This. I look at myself sternly in the mirror. Admiring my appearance but also nervous this decision.