The Irish Teacher ( Colifer story ) #wattys2016

A concrete wall

'You're engaged!'
Lana yells loudly in the corridor.

'Shut up will you.' I look around making sure no one heard her.

'You're marrying him?'

'Yes. I love him.'

She laughs. I raise my eyebrow for her to continue.

'I just think.. There are better guys out there..'

'You've never liked him have you? Look I love him and that's all that matters.'

'I suppose.. Anyway how's the boss?'

'Good.'

I smile walking up the corridor.

'What about him I'm sure he's single-'

'Lana stop it, why can't you understand I'm Happy.'

'I've been friends with you a long time Jennifer, I know you better than you know yourself.'

I shake my head. What is she taking about, I am happy. I really am.

'Ok. I'm sorry. I guess it's cute.'

'Cute?'

'Ye, you're marrying the first love of your life and your first time guy...'

I smile, awkwardly shifting my eyes.

'Ye..'

I swiftly say my goodbyes and dash up the stairs, if that wasn't awkward then I don't know what it. I remove my ring and shove it in my pocket, that doesn't need mentioning.

                                 ***
'Morning.' I walk into the room, Colin sitting on the couch looking out of the building. The sky washed with all types of blues mixing with the white fluffy clouds.

'Join me.'

I do. Hastily, sitting at the opposite end of the couch. His eyes remain focused on the view.

'Nice weather..' I look at him, his eyes don't shift.

'Yes indeed.'

'Are you ok?'

'Yes.'

I shift awkwardly, this is unusual.

'Ok. Colin you need to tell me what's happening?'

'It's nothing, it's just I know you Jennifer. I know when your uncomfortable or living a life you don't want. I hate the fact you're my Secretary, I hate the fact you won't admit were meant for one another and I also hate how you're engaged.'

I swallow, did he just?

'I'm sorry what did you just say?'

His head still facing away from me.

'That you're engaged?'

'Before that...' 

He slowly turns to face me, his eyes staring intently into mine.

'That we are designed for one another.'

I let out a breathe of awkwardness. My body tense.

'Colin.. I'm getting married to Seb.'

'So that's his name?'

I smirk slightly that both Colin and Seb have said that now. Colin turns his head back to the window.

'Yes and I love him. I really love him.'

'Who are you trying to convince?'

I look down at the couch, my fingers plucking it's cushions.

'Look ok. You don't know me, I don't know what makes you think you do Colin but us... Was the past, it would never of worked out.'

'I see.' He gets up walking back over to his desk and sitting down like a sulky child.

'Colin-'

'I'm sure you should be working now.'

He mutters, I stiff a sarcastic laugh getting up and walking to his desk.

'So now you're sulking because I've told you I'm happily engaged.'

He laughs.

'What?'

'It's a nice ring you've got on your finger.'

'I've not-' I stop myself realising his sarcasm. I roll my eyes.

'I just didn't wear it...'

'Of course-'

'I don't have to explain myself to you. Or anyone for that matter.' I snap, why do people keep telling me I'm not happy with my life or that Sebastian isn't good enough for me. I'm not in high school anymore.

'No you don't but you want to.'

I look at him confused.

'You may not see it now but you will come back to me Jennifer. You will tell me what's making you unhappy and maybe you'll-'

'I'll what... Declare my undying love for you?' I snap again.

He looks up from his desk.

'You know what Colin. I do love you, I always will. You know why I'm unhappy? Because I settled for second best, I couldn't have you so I moved on. You hear that, moved on!'

I step back, my heart clenching. Opening up hurts, it's like I'm reliving it all.

'But you could have me..'

'No, I can't. I can't because I'm going to marry Sebastian and I'm going to be happy. I'll forget about you just like I did over the last five years and if that means leaving my job then-'

'You don't have to do this.'

'No, I do. I can't allow myself the hurt again. I can't fall back into the hope that we could've worked out. To lie crying into my pillow because I loved you so much that I thought I'd die without you. To sit looking at my door thinking... Maybe you'd show up. It took me a long time to heal Colin and now I'm finally where I want to be. You can't just walk back into my life.'

'If that's what you want.' He mutters turning the chair to the window.

'You either let me be your secretary professionally or I'll leave.'
I stand determined, tears prickling my eyes and itching my cheeks as they fall.

'Well. There's some phone calls I need you to make Miss Morrison.'
He coldly replies. His chair still turned from me.

'Thank you.'

I walk over to my desk sitting down and pulling my ring from my pocket. Sebastian is the one I want. I push it onto my finger and smile. Colin turns back to his desk.

'No matter what day, hour or second you change your mind I'll be waiting.'

'You know that's not going to happen.'

'Hope is a strong word.'

He replies looking down at his work. For the rest of the day we don't talk, I make his phone calls. Go on a coffee run and even sing a little.
He, he just sits watching the world go by. Occasionally, glancing at me. Checks his sheets and maintains his view on the outside world.