You And I: On Tour

Troye IV

The tour through Australia was, in one word; depressing.

Connor and I barely spoke to each other. We slept in separate rooms. We took separate cabs between hotels and concert venues. Two days after our break up, I'd put out an official statement to all the fans.

*I'm sorry to tell you guys, Connor and I are no longer together. We are still continuing the tour for you but, if you see us separately, that's why. Love you all. xx*

And since Connor had been gaining some fans of his own, he put out a Tweet as well

*As many of you have guessed, Troye and I are no longer 'an item'. Tour is going as planned but we are not together anymore.*

We'd both received a flood of support from our friends and family back home. Each of them was worried about us in their own way. Zoe had wanted to fly out, simply to give me a hug. I'd told her a Skype hug would be fine. I knew that Connor's friends and family had also offered to fly out as well but he turned them down, claiming he was fine.

Despite the fact that he avoided me as much as possible, I knew he wasn't fine. Every morning he had tear streaks down his cheeks. He had bags under his eyes until the stage makeup we wore covered them up. And the way he walked, which used to be a cheery little skip was now more of a depressed slump.

It killed me to see him that way and I dreaded the flight to LA where we'd be together in a small space for twenty plus hours. But that was still a few hours away. We had our final performance in Perth to get through first. 

I was currently backstage, letting a random girl put makeup on me. Beside me was Connor, a smile on his face as he happily chatted with his makeup artist. It was a front to put me off, I know. Emma came into the room about five minute before we were due on stage and pulled Connor to the side, where they had a very heated discussion in whispers. Finally he threw his hands up in defeat.

"Fine. Whatever. I don't care. There's one more month." He said, voice raised enough so I could hear.

"Connor." Emma scolded, frowning at him. They both looked in my direction and I quickly looked away, hoping they hadn't seen me watching. Neither of them said anything so I figured they didn't notice. My makeup was done so I got up and left the room, wandering slowly towards the stage. The final song of my opening band was echoing down the hallway as I got closer and I fiddled with the microphone taped to my cheek. It was annoying to wear but so much better than having to carry one the whole time.

"Troye!" I spun around to find Emma chasing after me.

"I've got, like, sixty seconds." I said, covering the mike with one hand.

"Just take this." She handed me a slip of folded paper and hurried off. I opened the note and quickly read it.

I'm tired of seeing you and Connor mope around. Tonight, instead of singing BITE, you'll be doing the homecoming song. I will make sure Connor hears it. MEAN IT!!!

I shook my head at Emma's attempt to play match maker. Tucking the paper into my pocket, I ran the last few metres to the side of the stage, getting to the wings just as the band finished their song. The crowd cheered and screamed while they left the stage.

The stage crew ran on and in two seconds, the stage was clear and ready for me to go on. My heart was pounding even more than it had been before my first ever concert. But I took a deep breath and pushed the nerves away.

--------------------

After the show, I looked for Connor backstage but couldn't see him. I thought Emma was going to make him watch the homecoming song. Since it was the last one, I thought he would have been in the wings.

"Emma!" I called, seeing her a few metres ahead of me.

"You've really messed up, Troye." She said when I got closer.

"What do you mean?"

"Connor heard the song. He thought it was your idea of a way to get back together. He's stormed off back to the hotel."

"Well did you tell him it wasn't my idea?"

"Of course. But he didn't listen. I don't know exactly what happened between you in Sydney but you'd better try and fix it otherwise he might leave us when we get back to the states."

"What?" I hadn't thought he'd do that. "He said he would finish the tour."

"When did he say that?"

"Right before we broke up."

"Well, I think the radio silence between the two of you for the past three weeks has taken a toll on him. He looks ready to go home."

"What do I do? If that song didn't make a difference, I don't know what will."

"I do." She replied. "Talk to him. Use your words, not the lyrics of a song you wrote a year ago." I sighed. She was right and I knew it.

"Okay. But let me get changed first. I'll go to the hotel in a minute." She nodded and I left her to whatever it was she was doing, practically sprinting to where I'd left my clothes.

In ten minutes, I was in a cab on the way to the hotel, praying that Connor was still there. I gave up waiting for the elevator in the lobby and took the stairs up the ten stories to his floor. I hopped from foot to foot as I waited for him to answer the door.

"What?" He asked when he finally opened up. I'd never heard him talk like that and it threw me for a second, leaving me speechless. He went to close the door but I threw out my hand to stop him.

"No, wait. I want to talk to you."

"Now you want to talk? What about the past three weeks, Troye?"

"I was giving you space. I thought that's what you wanted."

"Actually, I was waiting for you to apologise. Troye, all these people are here for you. They're your tour staff, your fans. I'm just here for the ride. I have no-one to talk to."

"You seem to have been making plenty of friends." I observed and he scoffed.

"Because I had to. You weren't talking to me and I can't rely on my friends back home to always be around to talk to."

"I told you, I was giving you space."

"Maybe a little too much. I've made up my mind."

"About what?"

"I'm not doing the last month of the tour. When we get to LA, I'm getting a flight back to New York."

"But...Connor, you can't. We need you. I need you."

"No you don't. I thought the whole tour would be ruined if I didn't play that song but after tonight, I know you can just cut it out completely and sing something else instead."

"What? No. That wasn't me."

"Come on Troye. You're the one who made the whole surprise thing at homecoming. How am I supposed to believe that you didn't try to use that song to apologise now?"

"I swear on my life, I didn't plan it. Emma gave me no choice."

"There's always a choice, Troye." He shut the door in my face and this time I didn't bother trying to keep it open.