It's cold and the fog still hasn't lifted in the the hills. Angel keeps jogging, trying to convince himself he'll warm up even though he keeps slowing down to check his phone for any texts from Tomek.
He shivers, remembering the note his roommate had left him.
I'm really sorry about last night. I want to make this work still
It's 3am and still worried. i'm going to sleep in. i love you.
Tomek
The sun is out but Angel feels no heat, which is typical in San Francisco, but he can't help but think it as some metaphor about his situation. He shakes his head, pulls his hoodie up, and begins to run a little faster.
Can a relationship even work?
Well, yes. He's seen Kit and Trevor and their dedication and loyalty to each other. They've been together almost a decade.
But can it work with Dylan Karr watching?
A mental image of Tomek laying motionless on the ice pierces Angel's heart like a bullet, making him stumble on his feet and stop, chest heaving.
Angel loves him, he really does, but too much to let him become a target of Dylan's.
Angel finds himself outside a cafe, hunched over, taking shaky and irregular breaths. He checks his pockets for cash and only finds lint and gum wrappers. Cursing, he takes out his phone and opens the bank app, only to then realize his account was frozen because of the massive amount of money he had spent in one day on office supplies.
"Why am I like this?" Angel mutters to himself, then turns his phone off.
"...Angel?" A voice says accompanied with a tap on his shoulder, and he looks up to find a concerned looking Tahnay. His hair is a sad, dusty pink in the washed out light and he seems older than usual. Still better than Angel's patchy beard, sleepless eyes, and messy hair, though.
"Come inside," Tahnay says. Angel allows himself to be herded through the doors of the cafe and to a booth towards the back, where Hans was chatting with Khai.
"Hey, Angel," Khai greets, her voice unusually cheery. It seems genuine too, especially since Hans didn't roll their eyes.
"Khai. Coach." Angel reciprocates awkwardly and sits across from the two. Tahnay closes Angel into the situation by sitting next to him.
"Where's Tomek?" Hans asks, bringing a big coffee mug to their lips.
"He, um, slept in." Angel says. He feels guilt pulling at the muscles of his back.
"That's weird." Khai comments, voice concerned. She fiddles with her braids as she continues. "He's such a morning person."
Angel shrugs, a dismissal. At the same time, he tries to loosen the tightness in his shoulders. He changes the topic. "Well, why are you so happy?"
"She and Matti are dating again," Tahnay says, a dorky grin on his face, which looked strange considering his resting expression was serious. "Back together, finally."
"It... It's not official," Khai is flustered, playing with her braids even more. But, she's smiling.
"Might as well be." Hans slaps her hand, right where a small sun tattoo was.
Angel realizes why it had seemed so familiar before. It's because he's seen the other half: Matti's crescent moon.
He can't help but sigh at that. He's always wanted a long, committed, self-healing relationship. Tahnay and Khai don't hear him over their chatting, but the coach, ever observant, catches it. Hans give him a worried look and mouths "Tomek?" at him.
Angel winces.
After his teammates had convinced him to eat at least some food, Hans offers Angel a drive home. He accepts, grateful for the kindness but reluctant to follow up on why he sighed and was all sulky in the first place.
At a stoplight, Hans finally breaks the ice. "Playing Montreal was hard for you, I know."
Angel leans back into the worn leather seats of Hans's car. He says nothing, only because he doesn't know how to respond.
"I know... I know you're frustrated we lost, that we're not good enough. Frustrated we lost Matt and Kit for fuck knows how long. Frustrated at... at whatever happened between you and Tomek." Hans says. It's strange, watching them talk and drive. They seem like they have two different brains: hesitant in language but smooth on the road.
Angel nods, still speechless. Frustrated is right, but Hans left out his paranoia about Dylan. He wonders if they know.
"But bad things happen all the time, okay? Things don't work as planned." Hans says. They're trying to make their voice assertive, but instead sounds defeated. "You have to adapt and try to make things work. And if they-- if they don't..."
"Hans," Angel softly says, unsure how to comfort them. He watches as they take a shaky breath and continue driving like nothing had happened.
"You can only move on. You have to forget about the Wands sometime." Hans says, voice soft as the car pulls into a parking lot. "You don't belong to Montreal anymore. They don't control you anymore."
Angel can't help but wonder about the hurt behind his coach's image. "Hans?"
Hans pulls the parking break and shuts the engine off. They lean on the steering wheel. "Yeah?"
"What did you have to let go?"
Hans laughs, more nostalgic than bitter, and they finally let their tears run. "My dreams, Angel."
The scar on their neck seems to flash in the dim light, and Angel's heart drops. Oh. Right.
Hans catches Angel staring, and they laugh again. "Not-- not just because of that. My b... best friend. Got traded away. Never talked to me again."
"Hans," Angel says, and he feels helpless.
"I don't want you to just give up because horrible shit happened." Hans murmurs. "I gave up because I thought I had nothing else to hang on to. But you... You have this team behind you, okay? You have Tomek, even if you think you don't. He really does care about you, you know."
"...I know." Angel nods, the blood inside his veins buzzing.
Hans weakly smiles back.
YOU ARE READING
ANGEL CHIRPS
General Fiction"Angel, you're trying to prove yourself to people who don't care about you." Currently being adapted into a webcomic, check out the story so far on theteamtrauma.com !
