What Now? (Book 2) [l. hemmings]

Chapter 19

Victoria's P.O.V.

Michael continues to rub my back as I tried to process what the hell he just told me.

Luke walks in and scoffs, rolling his eyes at Michael and I. Mostly at me, though, probably. 

That's it.

"I'm so done with this shit." I whisper. "I don't want to keep doing this back and forth with him the whole time I'm here."

Michael pulls away from our hug, standing up.

"I'm going to go outside and join the others, good luck." He quietly says.

Luke is standing in the kitchen with his arms crossed, looking at me.

"What the hell is your problem?" I say.

"My problem? You're the one sending mixed signals! You say you love me then tell me to stay away from you and that you have a boyfriend! I don't understand you!" He exclaims.

Oh so we're starting with the yelling already?

"You said you know me better than I know myself. Right now, I really don't know what I feel towards you. I don't like this back and forth. I don't like when you get like this. I know this is hard for you, but it's hard for me too." I tell him.

"What is that supposed to mean? You don't love me anymore? Who is it now huh? Michael? Ashton? Calum? Some other fucking guy I don't know about?" He questions quite rudely.

"I was told about your hook ups. And no I do not love Michael or Ashton or Calum or anybody else actually." I reply. "Why would you lie to me?"

"You can't say anything you were probably fucking that Nick guy the day after I left." He spits.

"Excuse you? Is that how you think I am? I was devastated losing you! I can't believe you'd fucking say that." I angrily respond.

I'm furious. How dare he say these things about me?

"Well you do also cheat on every boyfriend you have!" He replies.

I stare at him in shock, I don't know if I look hurt or angry. Either work.

His face softens, "Vic I-I didn't mean it like that I-"

I cut him off, "Fuck you, Luke. You were the reason I cheated on Nick. Same with Tyler, which you initiated, I was not expecting it. So you're also in the wrong here, don't act like I'm the fucking worst when you participated in it. I understand I've fucked up, I get it. All I've felt for months in guilt, and it keeps getting worse. I know you're upset with me, I know you're confused about what I feel. I get it. I need you to understand my side in this issue, but it doesn't seem like you want to. This is fucking complicated. I know I made it complicated, but it's still complicated. Just- you know what? I have to be alone. I cant-" 

I turn around and head outside to the rest of the group before he can say anything else to me. I really can't handle this right now. 

I'm surprised I haven't cried yet. I think I'm too pissed off to cry.

"Can one of you please come upstairs and let me vent to you before I go back in there and absolutely lose it on him?" I ask, doing my best to stay calm. 

"Well, I don't want any more issues, let's go." Ashton says getting up.

I storm back inside and he quickly follows me upstairs to my room. Slamming the door shut, I begin pacing around the room as he sits on my bed.

He seems freaked out about how I'm acting.

"I'm so fucking angry right now I can't believe him! He has the nerve to say shit about me when he hasn't been any better." I start. "He's accusing me of this shit when he doesn't know anything! We just started talking again. I'm so frustrated! I get that I'm not perfect, but, fuck, he doesn't have to throw it in my face like that. I'm trying to figure it out!"