Firebird

Part 2 Chapter 12- Chalavar's Warning

PART 2

Chapter 12- Chalavar’s Warning

   I fell hard onto the floor for what seemed to be the millionth time. I didn’t fall far from the ground but it still hurt and I felt a bruise forming. Hyun groaned and made no effort to help me up. He swore in Chinese. “You’ll never be good enough!”

   I caught my bag that he threw at me. I’d tried my best to contain my anger towards him in these few days (that’s what I think it’s been) that I’ve practiced with him. It was hard and I couldn’t do it much longer.

   Ryo had known Chalavar would partner me with him. That’s why she had tried to prepare me for the more advanced routines. Obviously, I still wasn’t ready. He should have chosen Fa but she was too small to be partnered with Hyun. He chose me because of that little stunt I pulled by accident.

   I still had a hard time controlling my power. I couldn’t do it and do my acrobatics at the same time.

   “Maybe if you would stop yelling at me, I could think.” I said.

   He rolled his eyes. “No. You’re just hopeless.” He kicked his own bag out of anger and it slid until colliding with the edge of the ring. Then he stood against the railing of the edge, facing the stands. I guessed we were probably thinking the same thing. We wished Ryo were here.

   No one in the circus had been performing well since her death. We couldn’t focus or manage a real smile. There were no dances out by the fire at night. No games during the day. Hardly any friendly conversation could last before it strayed back to Ryo.

   Hyun was hurting like I was. I just found it hard to help him when he wouldn’t do the same for me. So we avoided speaking to each other. The only reason we even came in contact was because we were forced to perform together.

   I haven’t performed for awhile. Chalavar wanted me completely ready before I did. That meant Hyun was out too and for now, Hikauru was the star of the aerial contortions act. It was shortened and only temporary.

   Astley’s act was extended to make up for the time. He wasn’t thrilled by that because he said he could barely keep up with what he had. He told this to Chalavar but had only gotten a good laugh from him.

   I was stressed and tired. I felt like the only break I had was on the bus. Every day was the same. So was every town.

   I packed my things and left the tent without saying anything to Hyun. He didn’t turn to me or snap for once.

   The dressing trailer was empty save for myself. I sat on the pink bench adjacent from the mirrors and shelves of make-up and glitter. The smells of various perfumes mixed into one overwhelming fragrance. I was used to it by now and probably smelled like it from being in here so much.

   I leaned my head back against the wall and let out the tears I’d been holding back so long. I cried for Ryo and for papa and for me. For Fargus, Astley and everyone else. I was stressed and overwhelmed by…everything.

   After awhile, I dried and washed my face, changed my clothes and headed out.

   Calvin and Astley were sitting outside beside my tent. Calvin was trying to figure out Astley’s pipe. It seemed he was having trouble.

   “I don’t understand.” He said, clearly annoyed.

   Astley was possibly doing better than anyone else with acting normal. At least he was fine on the outside. He laughed at Calvin. “You’ll never figure it out. Lighting it won’t work.”