Firebird

Chapter 17- Their Past

Warning: I may change this chapter!!!

Chapter 17- Their Past

   I wasn’t sure how to react. I sort of just stared at him, appalled that he wouldn’t have told me sooner. Also that my mother was in the circus. The mother I never met or knew. The one papa told me died when I was born.  

  Astley took my hand and pulled me into the cabin. We sat in the back corner where no one else was. The torchlight flecked orange against his pale skin. His expression was sullen and reluctant. His eyes were reddened underneath.

   I couldn’t wait any longer for him to start explaining. I wasn’t angry with him yet. Too many things were clouding my mind. “Astley…” I said simply to get him to speak.

   He rubbed his face again and lay his hat beside him. “I don’t know where to start.”

   “Anywhere. I don’t know anything about her.”

   Leaning back, he crossed his arms over his chest and sighed. “Well you know a bit from the story I told. She’s quite a popular topic around here.”

   I felt somewhat sick. I never met her but all these people had. And no one bothered to tell me she had been a performer here. The most popular performer.

    “I’m sure you know her real name, Rosalina.” He said her name quietly, rolling it off his tongue as if all memory of her would disappear as he did. “I knew her well. Very well…”

   “What do you mean?”

   He swallowed and avoided my eyes by staring at the table. I’d never seen him like this. I hated it. He was so pained. “I loved her.”

   My eyebrows shot up.

   He hurriedly continued. “It was before your father. I knew her long before he did. We actually grew up together. We both loved performing and would put on shows for our families. She could do any trick you asked her to.

   “We talked of running away together to join the circus  because neither of our parents approved. We were too young, they said. I would have gone anyway but my father died that year and I had to help support my fifteen siblings, grandmother and mother.

   “Rosalina couldn’t wait for me. She wanted to but a traveling carnival came along. I encouraged her to go with them though I hated to see her go…” He paused. “She met your father, Alastor, there. He was a talented performer.”

   I hadn’t known my father was a performer. It came to me that I knew very little about him. He was a quiet man and when we ever did talk, it wasn’t my mother or his past. I wasn’t allowed to mention her at all.

   I tried not to let my many emotions out. I wanted to hear the rest of what Astley knew about my parents though it was obviously hard for him. What he didn’t know was it was a bit hard for me too. To hear about a mother I never knew but was so wonderful.

   “Years later, I finally joined Chalavar’s Circus. Time passed, I’m not sure how long. She came waltzing in one night and joined also. Naturally, I was overjoyed to see her and she was me. Then she told me of what she’d done over the years. She’d married Alastor and had you.”

   I had to stop him for a moment. “So my mother abandoned papa and I to join this circus?”

   “No, my dear. Not abandoned. That is much too harsh a word. She thought she could come back to see you. When she found out about the curse, she was devastated. And that is not a strong enough description. She tried to get away many times. She regretted leaving you every second.”