My english teacher always said,
"You can accomplish whatever you set your mind to."
That is a lie
I couldn't have gotten better even if I'd tried harder.
But there are some things you can very easily succeed at,
For example:
A teenage boy wakes up one day, with a great idea. He dresses up, writes a note to his mother, and steps out of his house.
As he walks to his destination, he notices many things he never did before:
The shimmer of the pond near his house, the nice family living next door and their young playful kid, how bright the sun is.
It all looks so much more magical today than any other day.
He finally arrives.
He looks up at the building, ready to put his plan into action. It's all going so smoothly. It's perfect.
He walks into the elevator and smiles at the people already inside. They give him strange looks, as he is not supposed to be there but leave him alone. He presses the 10th floor button. The top floor.
Everyone else gets out before him⏤no one inside when his stop comes⏤and once he steps out the first thing he does is look at the camera, recording everything.
He walks along the hallway, passing every single door until he reaches the last one. He reads the sign:
WATCH YOUR STEP
He smirks and pushes the door open.
The sun kisses his skin once again as he climbs onto the roof. It was truly a beautiful day.
He closes his eyes and lays down on the gravel. He wants to take in the sky... the only thing that never made him feel anything.
A few minutes pass by and his phone vibrates.
-
Mom: Baby, where are you??
The boy grins a little and texts back:
You: I'll be home soon.
You: I'll be okay :)
-
But he won't.
For a year and a half he had been feeling hopeless and lost, like he didn't matter. He didn't see any future for himself or anything to live for. False hope was anything and everything he experienced. What everyone looked at as simple was complicated to him. Every time he looked at a building he thought of falling, every time he saw a tree he thought about buying a rope, and every single time he passed by train tracks the urge to get out of the car and lay on them was so strong.
For months he dealt with insomnia. No one ever knew. Except one boy. That one boy gained his trust... and broke it. What he himself didn't know though, was the fact that the assumption he made about his only friend was all in his head. No one ever used him. He was loved by the other boy but self-denial reached its peak and his mind collapsed. His logic collapsed.
The boy now was sitting up, thinking about the past year. His experiences, his thoughts, things he wrote. It all rushed back to him.
He stood up and took a deep breath. He wasn't nervous. He was happy. For the first time in a really long time he felt... free. Like his old self again.
He walked over to the edge of the building, smiled, looked at the clear blue sky, the sun, the clouds,
And let gravity take him down.
