New Beginnings (Hijack)

Part 18

WHAT THE FUCK IS YO-GHART???

As Bruce Banner said in the Avengers, "I'm sorry, that was mean."
I have no reason
....

Hiccup sat on his bed. He didn't even remember how he'd gotten home. Seeing Fergus in his doorway was the last thing he remembered. Fergus always looked just like his dad. In fact it was one of the things that kept Hiccup from forming a bond with Fergus for years. But suddenly, all he wanted more than anything was to hug his dad or at least say something to him. But he couldn't. Not anymore.

Toothless had his head in his lap, obviously sensing Hiccup's grief. Hiccup absentmindedly pet the dog, not sure if he could even cry. Shoot he didn't even cry when he got the news, he just...called Jack and then when it hit him he sort of blacked out like he always did when it came to his dad.

He closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath, "Guess I got my wish, huh Bud?" he commented softly to Toothless as he remembered thinking how he never wanted to see his Dad again. He must have been naïve to think that his dad dying wouldn't have affected him. But it did.

He was so lost in thought he had no idea that Jack was standing in his doorway, quiet as a mouse as though not to disturb Hiccup or scare him. Hiccup could see him though, almost sensed him, not that he made any indication he was so immobile.

Jack came in slowly and carefully sat on the bed, scooting closer to sit next to Hiccup. Without a word, Jack laid his hand gently on his boyfriend's leg and kept it there, waiting for Hiccup to say something or do anything. Hiccup didn't move, in fact it felt almost as if he wasn't breathing. If Jack wasn't paying such close attention to Hiccup's chest he never would have guessed Hiccup even was breathing.

Jack looked down at the bed and just sat there with Hiccup, silent. It felt like an eternity and the sun was setting outside the window.

Jack almost jumped when Hiccup finally spoke up, "There was a...a fight...in prison." He explained in a shaky voice, "My dad was in...he was caught in the middle of it. He didn't even start it or anything he was just...in the wrong place, at the wrong time."

Jack stared at Hiccup, amazed that not even a tear was shed. But the pain in his eyes...it was so evident that Jack actually began to cry for Hiccup, "I'm so sorry." He whispered.

Hiccup shook his head, "It's okay. I mean...it's not like we were close-"

Jack could only watch as Hiccup finally let loose everything he'd held back. His body shook with his sobs, his tears pouring like floods down his face, his voice so desperate.

Jack put a hand around Hiccup's shoulders, pulling him close. Hiccup leaned into Jack, sobbing into his shoulders.

"We...weren't...I never!" Hiccup sobbed over and over again until it began to make sense to him, "I gave him up!"

Jack hugged Hiccup and rocked him, hoping in some small way he was doing something for Hiccup.

"W-why?! Why didn't I t-tell him?! I should have told him every day! I...I loved him!"

"He knows, Hiccup." Jack finally spoke, "He knows."

"No! He doesn't because he's dead!" Hiccup sobbed, clutching Jack like a lifeline, "I let him r-rot in there!"

"No. You didn't." Jack said firmly, "You didn't do anything wrong."

"He asked me to get him out and I just gave him up!" Hiccup cried, his tears never ceasing.

Jack bit his lip and shut his eyes, imagining how horrible Hiccup must feel. He'd heard from Fergus downstairs that Stoick had been beaten mercilessly and all for nothing. He hadn't done anything wrong. And Hiccup knew that. Hiccup felt he'd condemned his father to death, only he had never anticipated that when he let his father go last year.