Unexplainable

Chapter 8

Silence
That was all Isaac heard from his bed. He had spent the last few weeks with Tara but a case had arisen and they had been apart for three days now. The entire house was empty and Isaac couldn't live with it. It was times like this when his true self would show. His mind would wander and inevitably every night his thoughts would arrive at the same destination;
Loneliness.
That's how it always had been. He had been alone on his first day of elementary school, alone on his first day of high school, alone at his first track meet, alone at his first art show at school and he was even alone on his first date as his date stood him up. Everyone was always too busy unless it benefitted them. Therefore if he was going to pay them or help them gain popularity or money, no one ever had shown him affection and care. He learned from a very young age how to take care of himself, making himself lunches and teaching himself how to do various jobs around the house. Isaac's parents were hardworking first generation Italian-Americans who opened up a successful law firm in New York, which was quite an achievement in the span of 15 years. They never believed in wasting money on "babying their child" which meant you would never find a nanny, maid, butler or gardener less than ten feet away from their home. So for the majority of Isaac's life he was alone. The result?
An extremely socially anxious man who was also very clingy when it came to the affection or love he received. The last few weeks with Tara had been amazing for Isaac. She had always showed him the love, affection and care he missed after the graduated high school. Isaac couldn't help himself, he was in love, and only now had he realized how long it had been. From the moment he saw her working in the small cafe, he knew that she was the reason he didn't turn into a complete disaster. She kept him stable and calm in times when he was freaking out and no one else cared enough to check up on him. He needed her at times where he felt alone, scared and vulnerable, times exactly like this.
Isaac went to the bathroom and rinsed his face looking at his reflection. All the memories of being alone from the age of 5 all the way till now hit him like a truck in that moment. He rushed to his bed and texted Tara asking her to come quick. She quickly responded said she would be there in five minutes. Isaac looked at the clock,
11:16
He could handle five more minutes right? It was no big deal right? He kept telling himself over and over. He sat there for what seemed like an eternity then after a while looked at the clock again.
11:19
Only two more minutes. Finally he saw Tara's headlights in his driveway and hopped out of bed to meet her at the door. Isaac yanked the door open taking Tara by surprise. As soon as she took in his facial expression she felt her heart shatter. He looked like he was on the verge of a break down and she didn't know if she wanted to or even could stop it from happening.
"Oh Isaac, what's wrong bubba?" Tara embraced him in a tight hug.
"I don't know..." Isaac's voice came out as broken whisper. "I-I-I don't like being a-a-alone." By this time tears were flowing down Isaac's face. Tara had been so caught up in keeping her new found confidence and security in herself that she had forgotten Isaac had a fear of being left behind and that it affected him this greatly. Every sob racked through Isaac's body like an earthquake and he clutched onto Tara as though she was the ledge on a mountain that was keeping him from plummeting into the hard earth below.
"I don't know what's wrong with me" Isaac managed out between sobs.
"Nothing is wrong with you bubba. It is not your fault you didn't reserve the love and affection you deserved throughout your life." Tara soothed him, rubbing small circles into his back. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Isaac looked at her uncertain. He usually never showed anyone yet a girl his sensitive side because he was scared they would run off, creeped out about the fact that a grown man had trouble going to sleep at night because he missed the people he loved so dearly. But this was Tara. She was different and she had proven so countless times in the past when he would call her in the middle of the night crying and she would come and rock him to sleep. She helped him through his problems because she understood what it was like to feel not good enough. He had confidence in the thought that she would stay, which motivated him to agree to talk to Tara. So quietly but clearly after a few minutes of talking and just listening to Tara's heartbeat sync with his, Isaac spoke.
"Tara?"
"Yes bubba?"
Isaac laced his hands with Tara's.
"I'm ready to talk."