I Don't Want To Let You Go (Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello)

CHAP 9: Hidden Feelings

SHAWN's POV

I walked away because I can feel the jealousy in me. I can't stand it! The way Cameron compliments Camila breaks my heart! And seeing Camila blushing from his words really shattered my feelings. Cameron can compliment her the way he wants. He's too brave enough and confident. He's also good looking and every girls in our school has a huge crush on him. And I really don't know what to do with the fact that Camila and Cameron are getting closer. I am not saying that Camila can't be friends with him but I got really jealous whenever Cameron is around her. I know Cameron likes Camila and I can see it in his eyes.

What if Camila would have a thought that Cameron is her admirer? My whole world will fall apart for sure. Because her secret admirer is me. Yep, it's really me. I AM THE ONE WHO PUT THOSE LETTERS INSIDE HER LOCKER. It's just been a day and my jealousy was getting in to my nerves.. Ugh. I am really jealous the fact that Cameron is so vocal with his feelings for Camila. I can say that he really likes Camila even if he would deny it. And I am just here, watching them getting closer with each other and have nothing to do about it. I am not so vocal about my feelings for her. I am weak to show that I really like her. You know why? Because I know that If I confess to her, that would ruin our friendship apart. And I really can't stand to that. That's why, I decided just to be her secret admirer and that's totally fine with me. When she receives my letter and read it with full smile on her face, that would really make me happy. Seeing her happy with my words really makes me happy. And I am contented with that. But the fact that Cameron is part of her happiness makes me wanna punch the wall right now. I am short tempered if you would ask me. But I should control this because I know Camila. She'll get annoy everytime I do this. But I really don't know what to do ugh! But for now, I am sure that I'll continue to be her secret admirer until I have the guts to tell her that I really like her.. Maybe in our prom?? Hmm... But I still really don't know how to do it! Damn this hidden feelings!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH" I smacked my head into my pillow not knowing what to do with my feelings right now.

*buzz buzz*

From: Mila my Princess 👑
What's with your shouting at this middle of the night?

Uh oh. I forgot she's in her room right now and I am acting like a total crap. In this kind of a peaceful night. Although its not even peaceful for us because we can feel the distance again between us.

To: Mila my Princess 👑
Oh nothing. I am just watching a horror movie and I am with myself.
From: Mila my Princess 👑
Lol coward shawn. Can i join? Its too boring here and I have nothing to do in this middle of the night. We don't have classes tomorrow so we can hang out. What do you think?

I was shocked at her words. I thought she's mad at me because i ditched her while ago. But I know her if she's pretending or what. There's 50% that she really wants to hang out with me and there is also a 50% that she really wants to talk to me about what happened earlier.

I rushed to my window and opened the mirror of it and the curtains.

"Mila!" I shouted at her window that was just facing into my room window.

I can see it through her curtains that she was just getting up from her bed and turning off the lights of her lamp shade. She turned on her ceiling lights and opened the window

"Hey don't shout. Sofia's now sleeping." She said softly. Oh her calming voice... But hang on. I saw her eyes being a puffy red eyes.did she cry again because of me? I such an idiot. If I could only turn back time, I would've just pretend that I am not jealous. For Camila not to cry again like that.

"Just text me when you're at the front of my house" i said carefully not to wake everyone.

She just nodded and turned her lights off. I knew it there's something bothering her.

I carefully stepped downstairs again, not to wake everyone. Everyone's sleeping because It's almost 12am. And Camila and I are still awake. We're always like this whenever we don't have classes tomorrow or if its just weekend.

I went to kitchen to grab some popcorn and put it inside the microwave oven.

*buzz buzz*

From: Mila my Princess 👑

Im here Shawny. Open the door pls.

My heart just skipped a beat. She calls me Shawny whenever she's good mood or happy. I am really clueless now if she's really mad at me or what.

I passed through our living room and opened the door to see a breathtaking Camila. I just stood there and stared at her. She's just in her sweat pants and oversized sweater without any make up on and hair soft brown wavy hair was tied up in a messy bun. Simple yet so gorgeous, one of the reasons why I fell for her.

"Hey!" Camila snapped me out with my lovely thoughts.
"Is there something wrong with my face?" She asked touching her face.

Oh no what I am going to say?

*ding!*
The microwave oven ringed as we smell the freshly baked popcorn. Ahhh

"Uh uhm nothing. Cmon let's go grab our popcorn" i smiled at her and take her hand to mine.

"Okay but you're still weird" we laughed together as I closed the door behind us.

We went to the kitchen. Camila went to the fridge to find some drinks for us. While I did get our popcorn inside the oven and put it into a bowl.

Once I was finished, I felt a pair of arms hugging me behind.

"Shawny" Camila said softly. I can feel that she's about to cry.

I faced her and she's still hugging me.

"Ya I know, there's something bothering you." I said as I hugged her tight.

"I thought you wouldn't notice. Can we just talk first before we watch a movie?" Camila said still hugging me but not looking into my face.

"Why wouldn't I notice? I can see it in your eyes that you cried a while ago. I lift her chin up and I answered her.

"There's something I really want to know." She said seriously looking into my eyes

My heart just skipped a beat. What if she ask if I have feelings for her? What if I confessed my feelings for her? Would it break our friendship apart?

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Awww Poor Shawn! He's getting paranoid with everything. Lol. Anyways, its been forever since the last time I've updated. I am so sorry guys. I am just busy with everything. College life sucks tho. Stay tuned with the next chapters!! I love you all!! 💕

-vern