I Don't Want To Let You Go (Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello)

CHAP 12: This Is What It Takes

A/N:
So this chapter would basically based on one of my favorite songs of Shawn. Omfg. This will be just a short chapter so please bear with me guys lol

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SHAWN's POV

I watch her troubled eyes as she rests and I fall in love with every breath.
I really wonder if those eyes are really shut. Or if am I the one she's dreaming of?

She's really lovely when she's sleeping. Her cute breaths. Her being such an angel, and her being the real her. I know these past few days, she always sleep with hurt in her eyes. With hurt in her feelings. If I could just take all the pain away and always make her the happiest girl in the world, I would. But I am too coward to admit my feelings, I am scared for her reaction, I am scared if she will leave me because of that, I am scared for what the future holds for us. I don't know, but these fears are killing me.

While I am watching her into her sleep, I carelessly dropped the small notebook that was beside me on the night lamp table. That small notebook contains a lot of poems and song writings that I have been working on since the time that I fell for Camila. Crazy right? But I guess it's true that if you really like someone for a long time, you would allow yourself to be crazy.

I wonder how her sleep goes every night. How thoughts in her mind goes puzzling since she was a kid. She've been through a lot of difficulties in her life. If this is what it takes, I wish I could bear all the pain that she has since she was a kid.

'Cause underneath the darkness, There's a light that's trying so hard to be seen. And I know this 'cause I've noticed a little bit shining through the seams, yeah.'

I carefully wrote like 3 sentences on my notebook. I always write what's inside my head and in my heart. In what I am feeling or in what I am imagining of. She just took my life into a crazy world.. I am crazy falling for her.

"And if this is what it takes,
Then let me be the one to bear the pain.
Ooh if this is what it takes
I'll break down these walls that are in our way,"

I looked at her and smiled. I wrote those four stanzas while I am watching her into her deep sleep. I really wish I can see what's in her dream right now..

"Cause if you don't understand yet
Then I'll never let you forget
That you don't have to do this on your own.."

I sang inaudible while writing it on my notebook. If she could just hear me singing this to her... This random song that I am writing right now is really special for me. This is for what I feel for her. This is what for I want to do with her.

I will always be her shoulder to lean on. I will always be her right when she feels so down and wrong. She could always take my hand and together we could move on.

"And if this is what it takes,
Then let me be the one to bear the pain.
Ooh and if this is what it takes,
Then I'll break down these walls,
These walls that are in our way.
If this is what it takes."

I ended my song writing with a full smile on my face. Woah? Did I just wrote that?

2am. What? It's 2am? Why's the time always flies so fast? I didn't noticed that though. Time slows down when I look to my dear Camila. Ahhh I am really getting so crazy for her....

I returned my notebook to my drawer and plopped down next to her. I scoop down my arms to her waist and cuddled to her.

"Good night my princess.." I whispered and kissed her forehead.

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Ahhh so much feels when I did this. But another crappy chapter 😭💔 don't expect for some good chapters. I am still new here I am really sorry. But anw, thank you for the votes and reads. It means so much to me!!! ♥️ I love you all xx

-Vern