Living (RedRibbon13) **Complete**

5. BFFs

Chapter 5

BFFs

"Dude, don't make promises you can't keep. The only person who hasn't run is my dad, and I am sure that the old man must be a little crazy to stick by my side all these years." she said, raising her voice slightly. Ryan frowned in confusion as she rolled her eyes, and eyed her door.

"Hey! I am not old." Matt's voice came from the doorway making Ryan chuckle, despite the situation.

"No, you're not. But only that could bring you out from your hiding spot, dad." she said trying to sound pissed, but she couldn't hide her smile.

"You knew I was here?" he asked opening the door slightly to pop his head in.

"I knew from the first moment. Now, can I have a bit of privacy please?" she pouted.

"Sure baby girl. You know I am proud of you no matter what, and I'm right next door for you." he said giving her an encouraging smile.

"I know."

"And Ryan, I know you're a great person and whatever you decide, I want you to know that I am thankful to you for being by her side for so long and making her smile, alright? There will be no hard feelings, my boy." he said with a warm smile.

"I am not going anywhere, Sir." Ryan's voice held a determination that made her father smile.  But Amanda crushed the hope immediately. She knew that too much hope could kill you.

As soon as the door closed, she gave him a sheepish smile, "Crazy family, right?"

Ryan nodded in agreement. "Crazy but cute, I love the chemistry you guys have." he smiled and took both her hands in his. Despite the memories of Jacob Crosby from earlier, she tightened her hold on him.

He saw determination cross her face as she slowly moved to give him a hug. Amanda quivered when he hugged her back. The tears she was holding back started flowing as she whispered, "Before I tell you, I want you to know that this won't transfer anything."

With that she kissed his cheek lightly and pulled back looking into his shocked and confused eyes. It was the first time she had kissed him.

With his hands in hers, she took a long breath, and blurted out before she changed her mind, "I have HIV."

He blinked, once. Then twice feeling like a large boulder just crushed on him. After several moments of stunned silence, he was almost sure that he didn't hear her correctly, and whispered with a lump in his throat, "What?"

She looked away and tried to pull her hand away but he didn't let go. "I was born with it." she whispered and braced herself when his hands left hers.

To say he was shocked would be an understatement. First he felt a surge of anger but then he was just scared. He didn't believe what he just heard. He kept on repeating to himself that it had to be a cruel joke. Mandy was born with HIV? His eyes widened as another thought hit him hard. Did that mean she was going to die soon?

He looked at her without blinking once. He could imagine her being an assassin but a HIV infected person? Even his wildest of imaginations couldn't take him there. As the initial shock passed him, he noticed that her face had crumpled and her eyes were on the floor. She was shaking from head to toe, and he could see the quivering of her lips. Ryan started feeling light headed as a million scenarios started running through his head.

Amanda tried her best to remain calm but realizing what she just did, she couldn't help the panic she felt. The reality of losing Ryan hit her so hard that she started hyperventilating. She was so used to him being around for her, to see his goofy smile, to know he was there for her, and for the first time in life she wished the disease would take her sooner than later. It was easier surviving the disease, than living with the monsters it left.