Love and Fame (Harry Styles)

Chapter 17

Before One Direction I had only played in small vendors, usually brown bars with a drunk and middle-aged audience. So when I stepped onto my first arena stage to do my first performance with the boys, I was met by an amazingly breathtaking view.

The audience, bigger than any crowd I had ever dreamed of performing for, was so loud and energetic. No wonder why Louis at some point had gone paranoid, believing he had lost his hearing.

The boys had practiced with me all day long and by the time we were finished with soundcheck and Lou stepped up to do her part of my prepping, I felt much more confident.

I can't exactly say that I was calm, because the nervous kind of butterflies were kind of killing me, but at least I didn't feel the need to throw up anymore. And that was a great relief.

"We have to go on stage now," Harry announced as Caroline and Lydia, the boys' stylists, had me try on outfits for the performance. "Are you gonna be okay by yourself for a little bit?"

"She won't be alone," Lou said quickly. "I'll stay with her."

"Thank you," Harry said and gave Lou a look of major relief before he pressed his lips against mine. It was the first time we had kissed in front of anyone, but I was too numb to even notice or care. "I'll see you in a bit, love."

"Yeah," I said and gave him a tiny smile.

Harry disappeared and seconds later I heard the show kick off with Up All Night. When the music started playing and the boys weren't with me anymore, I started freaking out again.

Lou didn't quite know how to calm me down, but in the end she put me to watch Lux. Playing with Lux had a soothing effect on everyone, and for a few minutes I allowed my mind to wander off.

But I wasn't allowed too much of a stress relief. Only half and hour after I had managed to control my emotions, Lou cleared her throat.

"Tals?" she said softly and I looked away from her adorable, smiling daughter. "It's time."

"Okay," I said numbly and scrambled nervously to my feet.

"Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, of course," I said, but my voice didn't come off quite as steady and brave as I wanted it too.

I was given a microphone and then I was walking down never-ending, empty corridors. How come the walk to the stage was so long? Was the arena specifically built like that so that I would have time to thoroughly explore every terrified fiber in my body?

Lou walked with me to the stage so that I didn't have to be alone. I was extremely grateful, though I didn't manage to express my gratitude because of the immense feeling of anxiety I was struggling with at the moment.

Without Lou I wouldn't have been able to finish the walk, and there wouldn't have been an extra song added to the boys' setlist. She was truly a hero by posing as my rock.

I was shaking violently by the time I stopped directly behind the stage.

I stood stiff and awkward next to Lou while I waited for the song to end so that I could make my entrance. I just wanted the boys to announce my name so that I could get it all over with as fast as possible.

"Breathe, Tals," Lou instructed and I realized that I was holding my breath. "I saw you during soundcheck earlier, don't worry; you're gonna smash it if you give the same performance now."

I wasn't able to answer her. I just gave her a weak smile and hoped that she could read the gratitude in my terrified eyes.

I vaguely heard Harry saying my name as the boys' last song faded away, and Lou nudged me to get me moving. I staggered forward, almost paralyzed with fear.

The first thing I saw when I entered the stage was Niall's friendly face. He gave me a bright smile just as Liam gave me a thumbs up behind him.

All of my boys did their best to keep me calm, and to my surprise I wasn't completely horrified when I looked out at the ocean of people in front of me. Just the presence of Harry, Niall, Liam, Louis and Zayn made the performance less scary.

With the guidance and support of the boys, I managed to pull off a good performance. I didn't mess up the lyrics, I didn't hit the wrong notes and I didn't stumble or fall even once.

And what a rush!

Harry was right, it was an incredible rush to be on stage. It gave me a high I had never experienced before.

The crowd was crazy by the time our single was finished and I walked off stage. I almost freaked out like Louis and thought I had damaged my hearing, because everything was so quiet once I left the stage.

I waited for the boys to finish the rest of the show while Lou peppered me with compliments about how great I had been.

"You were brilliant!" Niall exclaimed the second he walked backstage after the show, and grabbed me by the shoulders before he placed a kiss on my lips.

Everyone in the room froze. Niall did too and started slowly backing away, parting our lips before the kiss could linger.

It wasn't like Niall and I hadn't kissed before, but it was just that now I was with Harry and what he had just done was very wrong.

I didn't really know what to say or do so I just blinked as Niall let go of my shoulders and looked at his best friend.

"Wow," Niall said as everyone kept staring at him as if he were insane.

"Yeah..." Harry mumbled as I looked back and forth between him and Niall.

"Man, I am so, so sorry," Niall hurriedly added, but Harry just waved his apology away with a lazy flick of his hand.

"Don't worry about it. But you should apologize to Talia for attacking her with your lips like that," Harry said and Niall looked to me again.

"Don't worry about me, I've received your kisses before," I said with a shrug. "I'm not scarred for life."

"Good... But still, I'm sorry," Niall said and I smiled before I looked to Harry with scrunched eyebrows.

"What the fuck, man, you're not jealous?" I said and everyone eyed the turn of events with amusement as I started giggling. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm sorry," Harry chuckled and shrugged. "If it had been anyone else I would have been jealous, but Niall's my best mate and I know that he's your best mate. And I know that neither one of you would ever do anything to hurt me."

"Fair enough," I said and continued what I was doing, satisfied with his explanation.

"Wait, so you don't mind that he kissed your girlfriend?" Louis said confused.

"Not really. As long as there's no tongue involved."

"So I can keep doing it?" Niall said and now he was confused too.

"Sure, if Talia don't mind," Harry said and my jaw dropped because I hadn't expected that. "Do you mind him kissing you?"

"Not really, I just wasn't expecting this," I said, but before I could say anything else I was cut off by Niall giving me another peck on the lips before he sat down.

"Can we all do it, or is it just Niall?" Liam said and then we all started laughing.