Love and Fame (Harry Styles)

Chapter 38

Christmas and New Years passed quickly by as Harry and I battled the pregnancy rumors and as February approached, Modest! Management announced that they wanted me to pursue a solo career.

I was thrilled that my music was finally being recognized properly, but as I worked on my upcoming album, I suddenly found myself being sad a whole lot.

I didn't want to let the media affect me, but it did anyway and whenever they said something hurtful or spread another mean rumor, I would cry.

It happened more rapidly after it was publicly announced that I was working on a solo album. It was as if I was suddenly a more interesting person to gossip about because I was no longer just One Direction's sidekick and Harry Styles' girlfriend, I was Talia Thompson the solo artist too.

I hated when I couldn't hold the tears back, because it was breaking Harry's heart to see me like that. He wanted to take all my hurts away, but it had come to a point where not even Harry could make me feel better. The media was just too cruel.

"Hey, love," Harry said and kissed my neck.

I was sitting by the kitchen table in our London apartment, focusing all my attention on a new song I was writing. I looked up briefly to let Harry peck my lips, but then I returned to the inked pages of my Moleskine notebook.

Harry knew better than to interrupt my work and let me be as he quietly started preparing dinner. It seemed to make me even more focused and inspired when Harry was practicing his amazing cooking skills next to me.

Harry always had that effect on me. He always seemed to sharpen my mind, making me feel more alive and present than whenever I was alone and without him.

He was preparing his trademark quesadillas and I knew that it was his way of cheering me up. I had been crying earlier in the day because of something mean I had read on Twitter, and now Harry wanted to heal my hurts with some comfort food.

Because of my upcoming solo career, I simply had to use my Twitter account more actively for the sake of the publicity. Which ultimately resulted in me reading more of the hurtful comments out there than I previously had when I had only been a passive user of the social media.

"Babe, can you review this?" I asked and looked up from my notebook as Harry happily swooped down on the chair next to me to help me with my work.

He was in a mood to please, probably because of my previous breakdown, but he always loved to work on my music with me anyway. He was the only one I would ever allow to look at my lyrics before I was completely satisfied with them.

He almost forgot about the quesadillas as he submerged himself in the lyrical world, but I was paying attention when he wasn't, and together we managed not to burn the food. We were hugely proud of that and gave each other a goofy high five for not ruining the food like we had so many times before because we had been too preoccupied with something else.

"This is great, love," Harry said and gestured to the notebook when I stood to remove the quesadillas from the oven. "As always. I have a few suggestions, but let's eat first, yeah?"

I agreed and we sat down opposite of each other to devour our food. It was delicious as always, and it made me feel a little better. Harry's quesadillas always had a soothing effect on me.

"How do you do it?" I asked suddenly and Harry scrunched his eyebrows as I continued. "How do you read all the shit out there and manage to stay positive despite it?"

"I try not to let it get to me," Harry said and I sighed because his advice wasn't really helping. "But the hate I get is different from the hate you get, I suppose... I rarely have to deal with the fangirls, while that is what you mostly have to battle."

"Yeah, but what do you do to keep the hurtful comments at a distance?" I pressed and put my fork and knife down to rub my temples. All the stress was giving me a headache. "I try so hard to stay positive, but it's like their words are physically pushing me down, making my knees buckle."

"I know, love, I know," Harry sighed and took my hands in his from across the table. He seemed to be in physical pain because of what I was telling him and it made me feel even worse. I didn't want to hurt him. "I hate this..."

"Me too."

"I think you just have to tell yourself that most of them are only kids. Some of them are barely old enough to know when they are out of line, and all of them are viewing you as a potential threat to their crazy fantasies and the likeliness for that fantasy to come true," Harry said quietly as he squeezed my hands. "You're like an obstacle in their fairytale, but they are too young to know that fairytales doesn't exist in the real world."

"What, are you saying that our relationship isn't a fairytale?" I said with a playful smile and Harry chuckled.

He seemed relieved that I was able to joke again. I knew that it was killing him inside that his fans and his world was hurting me so much, and it warmed my heart to see his whole composure ease up by my teasing comment. I made a mental note to crack jokes more often, just to make him feel a little better.

"Our relationship is a fairytale," he stated and stood from his chair. He pulled me up by my arms to place his lips on mine. "I love you, Talia."

"I love you too, Harry," I said and smiled as he wrapped his arms around me. I curled up against his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"I'm sorry for all the pain my world is causing you."

"I should only get used to it," I sighed and closed my eyes, pressing my cheek against his chest so thad I could hear his heartbeat thudding in my ear. "It's my world now too."