Journal #1

Page 8

[Written quickly and sloppily in pencil, :] I saw it.

The lamppost.

Yet I am more confused then before...

There is nothing on it.

Nothing at all.

Why would that human do that?

I don't know...

What's the point?

[In red pen:] i still don't understand this. Neither my reaction nor that Human's action makes any sense to me.

Maybe soon it will. i certainly hope so. Everything is a lot easier now.

[In pencil, neater now:] What is this feeling? It has been in me all day. i do not understand it. It's horrible. i thought seeing the lamppost would solve my problems.

i now know this is not true.

There is more now. Anger is here, joining the pool of Confusion. i need to get rid of it. All Anger does is splash around the water and make everything harder to gather. i need to get rid of it...

[In brown pen:] No. Anger may splash away the water, but only with the common thoughts gone can you truly think. Use it to your advantage. I do. That is how I became Me.

All Shadows are born knowing nothing, but as time passes ever so slowly by, We learn. I learned. And You will too. By the time You read this...You will.

[Pencil:] I don't know what happened. On His run today, all was fine, aside from the lack of Brilliant Sun (the clouds were being fierce), but near the end, we turned suddenly towards that alleyway He looked towards yesterday. I stuttered and followed Him, albeit slowly. The alleyway was very dark with Brilliant Sun gone, and also very thin. It barely would have fit more than two Humans at a time. The mold on the walls added to the dreary atmosphere of the place.

That short time was quite odd. He stood. And so did i. And He stood longer. So did i. We spent probably half an hour standing there. The time was not motionless. We often looked around and checked our left wrist. I didn't understand that. What was so special about our left wrist?

Right as He began to leave, someone else entered the alley from behind us. i couldn't see much of the other Human from my angle, but i could tell he was pretty rough looking. It was in the Human's voice, in the Human's walk. For some reason, He approached the Human and they started talking.

After a short conversation, He pulled out some money silently and held it behind Him. i guess the other Human didn't notice this. They made a little more discussion, then the other Human pulled out a bag of some sorts. The money He had been holding behind him moved out, and was traded for the bag.

Holding it, it is a new feeling. It is shaped like the bag in the rectangle that holds the Orange O's, but the texture is foreign. Whatever this object is, it is new to the both of us.

The Human quickly disappears out of the back, while He slides the bag into his pocket, and leaves the way He came.

Sometime during that, Brilliant Sun came out, as if our interaction in that alley was enough to destroy the fierce clouds. The tension would have been enough.

The remainder of the day was the same as usual, but even with Brilliant Sun shining and the fierce clouds gone, there are still plenty of shrouded thoughts in my mind. The lamppost, the alley, why am i so concerned with these things? What reason do i have to care?