White Roses

White Roses; Chapter 8

I slammed my way out of the entire building, not even glancing at the teachers, students and staff who tried to stop me. I was running, running away from all the pent up shit at this school.

Running away from the truth.

Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? What, was Andrew in love with me? Was I in love with him? NO! I'd barely known him for three weeks, and now I'm claiming love? I don't even know if I like the guy anymore!

Whipping open my car door, I hopped in and immediatley backed out. I saw the purple mop of hair standing by the doorway of the school. I didn't even spare her a glance. I couldn't look at anyone with out seeing his face.

After illegally speeding, I arrived at home. I walked out of the car, so angry and confused and hurt and... well, mostly pissed. My frustration unfortunatley got the better  of me and I ended up kicking my front door open. Mom was gonna hate me for that, but I didn't care. Tears were freely rolling down my face now as I trudged up the stairs, ripping off my backpack and throwing it at the purple wall in my room, the things inside of it clanging around. I slammed my thick curtains shut, completley encasing my bedroom in darkness. I paced, grabbing handfuls of hair while I did it. I was so angry! And at the same time confused... at the angriness. It was startling, yet refreshing. I hadn't been this mad in a while and it felt good to... hit things. Destroy something beautiful and peacful... nice, happy.

Just like Hayley did.

Her wretched face came to my mind, and the anger bubbled up inside of me again. With a deafening growl, I smashed my fist through a wall. I knew I was that strong, it was obvious. I created three more holes, screaming at each one I made. I yanked my fist out of the wall and went to my dresser. I paused, knowing I shouldn't break something that expensive. So as an alternative, I literally ripped my shirt to shreds, completley off my body. It was just your basic black T-shirt, nothing I'd miss. Not to mention I had plenty more...

I needed to calm down. I was going to destroy my room if I didn't. I grabbed a dark green zip-up hoode near my window and yanked it on. I left my room, slamming my door and stomping down the stairs. I didn't even spare a glance at my car as I stomped into the woods behind my house.

Calm, I thought, fidgeting with my zipper. Sereneness. Calm.

A green oak tree stopped my advance. I pressed my back to it's smooth trunk and slid down, til my butt met the soft forest floor. I closed my eyes and tried to think of anything but him.

But he wouldn't leave me alone. He was haunting me. His laugh, his smile, his personality and his eyes...

His eyes.

From deep amethyst to a misty lavender, and back to amethyst. His eyes were changing colors. I was not crazy, I wasn't!

I squeezed my eyes closed more tightly. No... no one's eye color just changes over night... but his do? I was drowning, knee-deep in confusion. I, first off, had no idea how I felt about him. But I was hooked, so attached to him. I wanted him to hold me and at the same time I wanted to shake the hell ot of him until he gave me the answers I wanted, the answers I needed.

Answers. If he wasn't going to tell me them, I'd figure them out myself.

Not to mention, why was I crying over some guy? I never cried over Josh... or any other guy I'd ever dated. Just Andrew. But why?

I shook my head, opening my eyes and rising to my feet. I wasn't going to sit in the woods all day and bawl my eyes out, but that's definetley what I wanted to do right now. I sighed. I was so completley wrapped around his finger, it was pitiful. And after such a short period of time, too.