With And Without You

Now: Shit Happens, Pt. 1

Fuck My Life.

Those where the words that jumped and stirred in my brain again and again. The sound of the loud music pumped through the wall of our bedroom, as I sat on my couch and tears streamed down my face and I prayed to whatever was above that this was a nightmare that I could wake up from because I had made the worst mistake of my life and it felt like everything we had perfectly built together was falling so easily around us like dominoes. I felt like I was drowning and I tried to gasp for air but nothing came and the fact that she was closed in our room made me sadder and scared. What have I done?

One day before.

As sweat ran down my back, and I pounded the ground as I ran, and ran. The rage seething and radiating from my body, and as I thought about the fact that I couldn’t be mad at her, it just pissed me off more. By the time I got to the bar I worked at, I was about ready to beat the shit out of someone. She had promised me she would never make contact with him ever again. One simple email, ruined everything. I wasn’t mad at her, I was mad at myself for letting my guard down.

When I met Victoria she had been for me the angel that fell from the sky, but I could still feel like her guards were up and she was hiding something from me. She was. One night, she came into our apartment sobbing her eyes out. She kept saying “he found me” “I don’t know what to do”. I hushed her and told her it was alright and that I would protect her forever but I had to know who he was so I could do anything and everything to safe her. She had ran from Puerto Rico because of her ex, I know shocking, but this guy had been the love of her live at that moment. His name was Hector, he had been her best friend throughout middle school and they became more than that in high school. For her everything was going perfect, but he had one problem. He liked to smoke weed, and she was scared he would do worst. One day, they had this stupid fight over nothing, and he went to get high with some of his friends, apparently he got his friends and went to her house one night. He was being all sweet but kept telling her to apologize, Victoria being the stubborn person she is, refused to because it was his fault. She had told him to back of, and to come back when he wasn’t high. Hector got pissed and forced his way inside the house with the help of his two friends. That night her mother and stepfather had gone to Rincon so she was alone.  They were all high as hell, and Hector got a little touchy with her and she kicked him in the balls. He got so mad, and punched her, his friends laughed as she fell to the ground and Hector delivered a swift kick to her stomach, and his friends joined in. She was left in pile in the floor, sobbing and bleeding when they left. She got her phone and called Cristina. When Cristina came in and saw her she sobbed and tried to take her to a hospital but Valeria said no and when Cristina told her to press charges she refused again. But Cristina took care of her and they both missed school until Victoria was better. Victoria still had bruises, when her mom came back, but she did everything in her power to cover the bruises, but there was something that wouldn’t go away, the constant pain in her lower abdomen and the spotting, but she didn’t tell anyone about it not even Cristina, she was too scared. Since it was her senior year, and she was only months away from graduation she stayed as far away of Hector as possible, he tried to apologize but he didn’t actually know the damage he had caused and she didn’t plan on reminding him. As soon as she graduated, she and Cristina took the first plane to England just as they had planned for so long. The abdominal pains and spotting stopped after a few months and she never had the nerve to say anything. After her first year in England she had buried everything behind.

That day, she had received a call with a weird number and she answered. Hector was clearly drunk, because he kept calling her bitch and telling accusing of leaving him. He kept saying he would find her that no one could treat her like he did. She was so scared. The next day I took her to a gynecologist, and we found out that Hector had effectively damaged one of her fallopian tubes and they had to take it out immediately. Plus they found she had problems with ovulation which made it that much difficult to have kids. That’s when everything began, when our battle for a baby began.

Since that day, he had done everything to keep, that man away from her. A year later and she had received an email from him, telling her he was extremely sorry for everything and that he was in London and that they should me up. She agreed, agreed! The moment she told me, my fist curled at my sides for the hate I had for that man. He had hurt and left an open wound on the love of my life, and what hurt me more was that she looked past that and accepted to go for coffee. I know, it’s stupid but for me it was the reason we had so much problem building our live together, our family.

As I entered The Cave, I spotted Amy who was cleaning the bar. When she saw me she flashed as smile but when she noticed my red face she took two tequila glasses and put them in front of me as I sat down in the bar stool in front of her. She poured the tequila and didn’t ask anything, just gave me an apologetic smile and pushed one of the glasses my direction, while she took the other. That’s what I liked about Amy, she was like one of the guys, and she didn’t ask questions, just waited until I was prepared to tell her. By the time we were in our fourth round I was heavily intoxicated and spilling everything. I knew it was wrong, spilling all our dirty laundry, but the alcohol in my blood just kept my mouth moving without my brains permission. She offered advice but I was too pissed at Victoria to believe a word Amy was saying. In a way she kept reminding me of Vicky, when she smiled and the tequila had taken over my nerves and muscles, so I kissed her. After a second, Amy reacted and pushed me, with her eyes wide she looked at me and then over my shoulder. I followed her eyes and found Victoria standing in the doorway, with the most dreadful blue eyes. She shook her head and turned to go. The alcohol evaporated from my blood as I assessed the situation. I turned to Amy, “I’m so sorry” I told her wide eyed and in shock, she shook her head and said “Go, Go after Vicky”. I did, and I caught up to her, and I pulled her by the elbow and turned her to me, she was red and crying. She pulled her elbow from my grasp and hissed “Don’t touch me!”

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know what happened?” I shook my head still not understanding what I had done or why.

“Well it sure wasn’t Amy’s fault because she is a lesbian!” She screamed at me.

“I’m sorry, I had too much tequila and I was thinking of you and I was mad and-” I tried to explain, desperate for her to understand.

“Don’t you fucking dare turn this on me or your sad puppy lost story!” She sobbed, as sadness, hurt and anger swam in her beautiful blue irises.

“I know and I’m sorry but I am not the one who is going after her ex, after what he did.” The anger I had before returning with a vengeance.

“You know what I’m gone, and I wasn’t going to go but just to spite you I’m going. Go to hell!” She screamed, turned away from me, got in the car and sped away.

I felt like a ton of bricks had fallen on my shoulders as I saw the love of my life go after her ex.

Hey! Just wanted to say I changed my characters names, but nothing else. Hope you guys like it and I’ll try to post Pt. 2 as fast as I can.

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