The Weirdo Freak that I Am

The Weirdo That I Love

The name of this book has been changed...even though this is like the last chapter.

4 years later.

'Dear readers,

"The Weirdo Freak that I am" is a book I take great pride in,I know it isn't right for me to change the name but here's why I did. As you have read this story about the girl who has only ever known how to hate herself and thought of herself as a freak,you should probably know,that the girl is me. The reason why I said 'weirdo freak' is because I always knew I was weird and for one thing,I'm fine with that,being weird is fine but at the same time I believed that I was a freak. this story is all about how I wish I could love myself and stop thinking of myself as less,just because I'm different but it's easier said than done. 

To love myself,I had to stop feeling like I was some worthless freak,but maybe I am? Not to myself nor my own family and friends but to society. Yes,I am different. I fight with the human nature to hate and loathe myself and I am sure society will only ever see me as a freak as I have learned to love who I am. It was not because I felt loved by others,so I decided to love myself,it was because I learned to see my flaws but I saw my strong points and I accepted that hating yourself will bring you nothing but sadness and accepting who you are,is fine no matter what society makes you believe. So yes,I am a weirdo. I am,one way or another,a freak to human nature as all that fragile humans know how to do is bring ourselves down.

Maybe right now,you will stay the way you are. You will only see yourself as someone to hate but if you don't try to love yourself,how do you expect to be happy. Life is shitty and it doesn't get easier but it does get better as you grow up because you become stronger and stronger. Even though, it is human nature to be fragile and self loathing,it is also our nature to grow stronger. 

I am The Weirdo Freak That I Love.'

I stared at the orange 'publish' button before clicking it. I had never stopped using Wattpad,I had written so many stories and poured my heart and soul into the books I created but this story was by far the closest thing to me possible.

I got a video call from Em,my best friend since the age of 2. I waved at the little angel who was sitting on her lap. Natalie was a three year old girl,with blue eyes like her dad and a pixie face and black curly hair like her mom. The baby was a little ball of energy. The tiny pixie made a heart with her hands and I blew her a kiss. Natalie was born partially deaf and just a few months ago,she was given hearing aids causing her to giggle the first time she heard my voice. 

Em was an extremely loving mother and Luke had melted the first time he held his daughter,his eyes had tears. Their wedding was perfect and goofy which was not unexpected cause all of us were there. 

I heard the door open and in came Evan,he had the biggest smile to ever exist. "I got it! The only exception is that I have to model for them,but that's fine! Come here,Cherrylips!" He sweeped me up and swung me around. 

Evan's passion for photography grew and he had soon taken courses for photography as a major and he was in the same university as me. I had taken psychology as my major and just a week ago,we had graduated and gotten our degrees.

 While he was working his way up to becoming a professional photographer,I had started a Youtube channel in the 2nd year of University and it's been going well. I had also started to write my first proper book to publish and I wanted it to be 'Simon vs the homo sapien agenda' good. Doing psychology helped me to understand myself better and it was a great experience and I wanted to share my knowledge and experience with others though I'm not saying I knew everything,I was still learning.

I was excited for Evan but annoyed. I pouted as Evan leaned to kiss me. He furrowed his eyebrows. "Is something wrong,love?" I clutched his sleeve and put my head on his chest. I told him something but it came out muffled. I could feel his laughter from the vibration of his chest. I looked up at him with my big watery eyes. "You're gonna model,and then everyone will see my hot gorgeous boyfriend and drool on you. Only I can drool on you." I literally drool on him actually,whenever we cuddle to go to sleep,he always awaken to drool on his chest.