Suicide Lane Cafe

til

today i opened your half of the closet
and put on your sweatshirt 
and looked at old photos 

today i played your favourite song
and ate your favourite food 
and lay down alone 

i couldn't let you go, you know? 
even before the diagnosis, i kept:

every pencil you touched
every receipt you crumpled
every little note you scribbled

there are pieces of you everywhere. 

i don't know what true love is,
but i know this must be it,
or as close to it as we ever got

it's the second anniversary of your death.
because i still feel like i'm going to turn around
and see you waiting for me 

i used your toothbrush today.