Until Then

Prologue

PROLOGUE

Kenneth Pines

I remember the last time I saw my father alive. He seemed happier that morning, almost like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. I'd stood at the entrance to the kitchen and watched him making pancakes for Juliet just like he used to do before the PTSD had broken him. He was even smiling and I had tried to remember the last time I'd seen his lips curl up instead of staying set in a line across his face that made him look much angrier and older than his young age. My father had always been my hero and had I known that morning would be the last one I'd ever get to spend with him, I would have never left that old kitchen so I could've been with him just a little longer.

You know that feeling you get out of nowhere that makes your breath instantly escape your lungs? That heavy weight of dread and unsettlement that pushes in between your ribs and fills your chest until it's so overwhelming you can think of nothing else but what had invited it in? I never really believed in ghosts or any of that metaphysical talk about energy staying around after someone died, but I would have sworn during the math lesson that day a few hours after he'd dropped me off at school, my dad had sat down next to me in the chair that had been empty all year.

I had even turned my head around so I could be sure his physical form wasn't sitting there because his presence was so powerful I could almost smell the familiar scent of ironed starch and boot polish that I will forever associate with my father. Of course the seat had been empty, but something inside me knew he was gone from this life. It was as if he'd somehow found me and set his hand on my shoulder one last time. I had nodded my head even though the action made me look crazy to anyone watching, because I needed him to know I understood why he had to leave. I only wish I could have told him how much I'd missed him over the years and how watching him earlier had felt like he was truly back even though his boots had returned to American soil some time ago.

That morning, my dad finally came home...then he took his own life and left us again.