Dancing in the Rain ~ A Supernatural Fanfiction

Chapter 1 ~ I feel Human

"It's been three days Sam. He just leaves, still intoxicated and won't answer your prayers. It's not like him." I pace the small motel room impatiently as Sam watches me from his position, sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows on knees, hands supporting his head. "Just because he's not answering me doesn't mean he'll do the same-"

"No Sam!" I cut him off as I stop to stand in front of him, hands on hips. "I'm not calling him."

"Why not?!" Sam stands up angrily, towering over me. "What happened while I was gone?"

"Nothing." I sigh deeply. "Fine, I'll call him." I sit on my bed and close my eyes. "I pray to thee dear Castiel, to get your feathery butt down here." I open my eyes slowly. Nothing. I get up and storm over to the counter next to the fridge. I lean against it, digging my nails in. "I told you he wouldn't show-" The sound of wings stop me. Cas is standing by the door, wearing the same suit and trench coat as always.

"Hello Deanna." He says calmly.

Sam picks up his coat and heads for the door. "I'll go get a beer or something. It looks like you two need to talk." I stop staring as Cas and look to Sam. I nod and say "Thanks." And then he's out the door. I turn to face the counter, leaning on my hands. "Where have you been Castiel, Sam's been calling you for three days, and I call you once and you decide to show your face." I look back over my shoulder, watching Cas out of the corner of my eye.

"You are angry with me." He says it simply. No change there.

"I'm not angry with you Cas. I'm just... I'm just tired."

"Well then you should rest." I bang my fist against the counter, loud and hard. I flex my fingers, my hand throbbing.

"Not that kind of tired, Cas." I say exhaustingly. "I'm tired of this," I turn to face him. "of pretending all the time. You act as if you feel nothing, have no feelings." He just looks at me from across the room.

He gestures to himself. "This is merely a vessel-" I storm across the room and stop him mid sentence with a punch across the jaw. My knuckles crunch instantly, as if I've hit a brick wall. Castiel just turns to face me, without even a bruise. I breathe deeply as I hold my swelling hand. "It's broken." Cas takes my hand in his. His hands are soft as they envelope mine. I watch his long, slender fingers as the pain subsides and the swelling disappears. As soon as my hand feels normal again I yank it away as if I've been stung.

"Not anymore I guess." I rest my hands by my side and look up to him, fuming. "Answer me this. When Famine was in town and you were eating all those burgers. You felt them right? You felt them go down your throat, settle in your stomach."

"Yes. I suppose I did." I continue before he can say anymore than that.

"How did you feel? Happy, Ecstatic, Nothing?"

"My vessel enjoyed-"

"No. How did YOU feel?" I jab his chest with my index finger, stressing the question.

"I enjoyed them."

"And how about when you were getting plastered the other day. You felt the liquid slipping down your throat, felt the burn of the alcohol through your body. Right?"

"Yes." He nods.

"You felt merry didn't you? For a while at least, until the hangover kicked in."

"I did."

"You see. This," I rest my hands gingerly on his chest. "Is more than just a vessel. This is you. The only one I know and..." I trail off, the last word so quiet he either doesn't hear it or chooses not to.

"That is because my real form would blind-" Ok, time for a different approach.

"Do you remember the night I took you to a brothel because we thought you wouldn't survive the next day? And one of the girls took you into the back. Her hands all over you, her lips touching your skin. How did it feel? You know before you told her that her dad really ran out on her because he didn't like his job at the post office, not because he was ashamed of her."

"It was a physical sensation-"

"Sorry let me rephrase that." My hands grip his shirt lightly where the fabric meets my fingers. "how did you fell about it?" I move my left hand up his torso and around the back of his neck; my other hand clenches his tie. "how do you feel about this?" I go up on my toes and pull him down until our lips meet. And for minute there's just heat, endless fire. Then I break off but keep my body in position. I press my forehead against his and look into his eyes. He just looks through me. "Good, bad? Happy, sad? Anything? Do you feel anything?!" I close my eyes and press my lips against his again, only this time with a severe urgency. I feel warmth everywhere our bodies touch. I break away again. He doesn't react at all. "Nothing. You didn't feel anything!" I scream as I slam both my palms into his shoulders and turn away. I feel my eyes start to water but hold back the tears. I rub my hands over my face in frustration. But I turn back to where Castiel had been standing when I hear the sound of beating wings. An irritated sound escapes my throat as I turn away from the now empty spot. As I turn warm hands envelope my face. He disappeared then reappeared in my path; so he could what? Repair a broken heart like he repairs a broken wrist. He pulls me toward him, our lips meeting. He kisses me hardly, twisting his fingers in my hair. I wrap my arms around his neck, arching my body into his. He breaks away but keeps our foreheads touching.

"I feel human." He whispers. Human... Castiel... The only one I know and...

"And I love you, Cas." He smiles as he closes the gap between us. Fire consumes everywhere he touches, my face, my arms, my waist. His fingers the sparks from a red hot flame. His hand goes up my back, under my shirt as I press myself against him, trying to be as close to him as possible. I push off his trench coat and it falls to the floor, quickly followed by his dark navy jacket. I pull off my faded leather jacket adding it to the pile, as he undoes his shirt buttons. As soon as it flaps open I slip my hands inside, my fingers brushing the lean muscle, his smooth flat stomach. I walk back until my back hits the wall, pulling him with me. He presses me against it, kissing me passionately. We make our way over to my bed and fall onto it. The fire consumes me, burns me, as we become a mass tangle of arms, legs, tongues and bare hot flesh.