Dancing in the Rain ~ A Supernatural Fanfiction

Chapter 4 ~ Burgers and Whiskey

I go in and close the door. I run the tap cold and soak my hands, patting them against my forehead. I leave the water on and grab a towel to dry my hands and face. Then I drape it over the handle of the door to muffle the sound as I open it a crack. They’re trying to whisper but I can still hear them.

“So everything that’s happened to me, is going to happen to her?” Dean asks.

“Yes.”

“Cant you change what happens?”

“No.” He sighs sadly. “Everything has to happen. From Sam being pulled from Hell without a soul to me dying. Everything.”

“You can’t do that to her!” Dean says raising his voice. “It’ll kill her.”

“Dean-”

“No, Cas. You have no idea how much it hurt me every time you died. She loves you man. I can see it. You’ll destroy her, when your gone she won’t know you’re coming back, because I didn’t. And how about when you turn into god, you’ll threaten to kill her. Or after that when the Leviathan dump your body on the shore. You don’t know who you are, you marry some chick. You’ll forget you ever loved her.”

I look around the door. They’ve moved and are now standing in a corner of the room. I see Cas’ eyes drop to the floor.

“That’s right Cas. I can’t just see it in her; I can see it in you too. You love her and I’m betting you haven’t even told her. Have you?” Cas looks up, meeting his eyes.

“What am I supposed to say Dean? Because telling her would only make things ten times harder. It’s not even allowed, what we did is forbidden.”

“Dude you full on rebelled against Heaven. In two different realities, I don’t think you having a bit of fun is at the top of the list of priorities.” He starts to turn towards me but Cas lays a hand on his arm, stopping him.

“Dean you can’t tell her anything. You can’t even warn her. Things have already been disrupted enough just by her being here.”

“That reminds me. Why is she here? I don’t remember anything like this happening.”

“I... I don’t know. Nothing like this has ever happened before.”

“Can you send her back?” This question alerts me, especially when Cas doesn’t answer.

“Can you?” I ask, walking towards them. They look at me in surprise.

“How much did you hear?” They both say in unison.

“Enough.” I say. “Cas can you send me home? Am I ever going to see Sammy again?”

He doesn’t answer. I can’t help the tears from rolling down my cheeks as I break into sobs that shake my entire body. Dean immediately steps around Castiel and bundles me into his arms; stroking my hair and whispering soothing sounds into my ear.

“It’s going to be okay. We’ll get you home, I promise.” He says, wiping the tears from my eyes. He looks over to Cas and says “Go. I’ll look after her. Just find something.” Cas nods and is gone. Dean leads me over to one of the small beds and sits me down. “Just try to relax. Cas will find a way.”

“What happens?” I ask

“I don’t know what you mean?”

“With the apocalypse, with everything. What happens?”

“Deanna I can’t…” He trails off.

“Please. I need to know what I’m going back to. What I should do. I mean you’re still here. Did you say yes to Michael?” He doesn’t speak, just lets the silence drag out.

Then after a few minutes he looks me straight in the eyes and says “No. I didn’t. We stopped the apocalypse. It took a lot.” He goes on to tell me everything. How he and Sam stopped Lucifer, how Cas died and came back. Then he just keeps going; telling me about Sam getting pulled out of the cage without a soul, his time with Lisa and Ben. Then about the civil war in Heaven. And Cas becoming god, how he threatens to kill us, how we try and kill him by capturing Death. Silent tears run down my face as I listen to what’s going to happen in my future. He tells me about ‘Emmanuel’, the leviathan and the trials. When he’s done he walks over to the cupboards, grabs two glasses and a bottle of whiskey. He pours us a measure each and brings them back over, passing me one. I down it immediately and he pours us another.

I drop the glass on the floor and it smashes as my body starts to shake again. Tears consume me as I cover my face with my hands. Sam going to Hell, Cas dying over and over, him forgetting me, going to Purgatory. It’s all too much. Dean sets down his glass and wraps his strong arms around me. I cry into his shirt as he holds me, soothing me. He smells like burgers and whiskey, a strangely intoxicating odour. My head swims as I pull back slightly and look up at him. His green eyes shine. I reach up and kiss him softly. His lips feel perfect against mine and taste like alcohol. He pulls back and caresses my cheek sympathetically.

“D…” He whispers sadly. He shakes his head ever so slightly. I pull his head down and kiss him again, this time with more urgency and lust. Our tongues move in perfect sync, as Dean knots his hand in my hair. He seems to be fighting himself because he’s kissing me back and touching me but he holds himself back, as if he’s trying to stop. I gently bite his bottom lip but when I run my hand up his thigh he stops me by standing up abruptly.

“D we can’t. We’re the same person it’s just… not right. And you’re with Cas.” He says.

“With Cas? “ I say as if I’m hearing it for the first time. “He didn’t tell me any of this. He’s lied to me. Everything that’s happened, that’s going to happen, he didn’t even warn me!” I scream.

My voice becomes a whisper as I bundle my knees to my chest and hug them. “I thought he loved me.” Dean sits back down next to me and rubs my back. “You told me everything.”

“You were right, you needed to know.” He says softly. “You will get through it, everything that’s going to happen-”

“Dean!” Castiel has appeared in front of us. “What have you done?!” He asks his eyes like daggers. We both look at each other, unsure whether Cas is talking about him telling me my future, or the kiss. “You told her!”

Dean breathes a sigh of relief then stands and shouts back. “Of course I did! She needs to know what’s going to happen.”

“She’s not meant to know her own future.” He turns his gaze to me. “Deanna, come here.” He says. I stand slowly and walk over to him, but keep some distance.

“How could you not tell me? You know, you knew, what’s going to happen to me. You knew every time we spoke, you knew when you kissed me, when I was sleeping next to you last night.”

“You’re not supposed to know your own future. It’s unnatural.” He lifts his hand and moves it towards my temple. I step back.

“What are you doing?”

“I have to wipe your memory. You can’t know.”

“Wipe my memory?!” Dean steps in between us, stopping Cas from getting to me.

“Cas man, you can’t. She’s got the right to know.” He says.

“Stay out of this Dean. You’ve already caused enough trouble.” He goes to touch Dean’s head but I push him out of the way and punch Cas as hard as I can on the nose. He stumbles back but recovers quickly. My hand hurts worse than it did the last time I hit him.

“Leave him alone.” I say. Tears start to pour from my eyes, from the pain I tell myself. I wipe them away angrily. “I Hate you!” I scream. “I thought you loved me!” Dean comes up behind me, takes my hand and coaxes me into his arms.

“Just get out of here Cas.” He says. “You’ve hurt her, just like I told you this would.”

“Deanna…” Cas whispers.

“Just go.” I shout at him.

“I’m sorry.” He says before the sound of air under wings carries him away.