Forced

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Sometimes a flow comes in your life that is an opportunity to save you from the things you suffer. But then, there are those times that come after it that place obstacles in the pathway and block you from taking that opportunity. If you are strong enough, you might just be able to grab hold of it. If you do not have the power, then you will find yourself sitting back and watching it fly past with a heavy heart. That was the reality of things.

As Kiran sat in her new living room, surrounded by the dozens of new relatives, girls and women all gushing over her, this thought flashed through her head. And it seemed the latter was in her favour. Which was absolutely not doing anything to slow down the fluttering of the large eagles flapping away in her stomach. It felt like she had a million of them in there and there was no way even one could fit.

Feeling isolated, even though in the company of so many, she wept mentally. This was so hard. Sure brides wanted to cry on their wedding day, they were leaving their childhood home for goodness sake, leaving behind a family that loved them and care for them; a family they cared about. But it was different for her.

It was not like she did not care about her family. She did. Sarah was the younger sister that was annoying but always there when needed, the normal relationship. Her mother was a timid, sometimes immature women, but the best with hugs and hot chocolate, something that was definitely going to be missed. Then there were her grandparents who were in Pakistan but Skyped every now and then. They had gone back to their homeland a few months ago to stay. Still, they had joined the wedding on line and her grandma had even cried her off. Even all her cousins, most who had failed to show up because of her in-laws, meant a lot to her though their thinking was off track.

But her father was the one figure that shadowed all other feelings. He had a foot in every place. He was the controller to every channel in her life. She hated being flipped over to his liking. And yet, that was exactly what she was planning to do.

Kiran felt guilty when she thought of her mother. The elder woman had held her on the doorstep and cried like her heart was breaking. Funny, Kiran had felt the same way. All the pain she felt, all the confusion, all the fear moulded into one large tangle of tight knots. There was no possible way she could tangle any now. They were all intertwined complicatedly. All she wanted to do was fall down and cry.

It was funny how she had always thought she would not end up like her mother; in a loveless fearful marriage where the husband was literally her master. After what she was going to have to tonight, that was definitely going to happen. And she was scared for that future too.

Just as she thought she had a ticket to freedom, her father had to come along and rip it. That looked to be the only path she would ever take in her life and she was not very eager to walk upon it.

Kiran wanted to scream and wail. She did not even feel like she was in a crowded room. The noise was a silent hum that her ears refused to let in and the presence of all these strangers was invisible.

Still, she felt crowded. She wanted to be alone to cry her sorrow out. She needed her space and she craved freedom. Nothing she would be getting at the moment.

"Hello?" the hand that suddenly waved in front of her face caused her to jump.

With wide eyes she stared at Jannat who looked at her in a questioning manner. Kiran gave a slight shrug.

"Y-yeah?" her voice came out all hoarse. Like she had been screaming for a full hour or something.

One of the ladies, probably an aunt, with a white painted face was asking her something. Kiran smiled apologetically, clueless to the question. Clearing her throat, she tried to rid herself of the hoarseness.