Fragile

April

On your first Hallowe'en, you were pumpkin. Your second a rabbit, your third a bumblebee and your fourth, a princess. This year we let you choose your own costume and you had your heart set on being one of two things; a space unicorn or a spring roll. You had an alternate of course; a Thing from The Cat In The Hat.

Your father and I had attempted to persuade you into being a Thing, but Arizona and Callie's 11 year old daughter, Sofia, was all for the space unicorn.

"I was an astronaut princess when I was little. Space unicorn would be so cool!"

It didn't help when Meredith's daughter Zola, liked the spring roll idea. "Spring rolls are so good! You should definitely dress up as one."

Arizona had doubled over laughing when she found out about the costume ideas. "A spring roll is the best hallowe'en costume I've ever heard of."

We talked and talked to you about it, but you were dead set on those two; a Thing was definitely out of the question.

Until we couldn't find either costume.

"But mommy," you whined, "this wig is so itchy!"

"Don't you want to look like Thing 1? It won't be itchy after a while." I suggested, having a hard time stuffing all of your dark curls into a light blue wig.

"Mozart wore a wig to cover a deformity on his left ear." You informed me, fiddling with the sleeve of your shirt. We had had trouble fitting it over your cast, that was due to come off on November 2nd. The sticker that read 'Thing 1' was already peeling off and your hair was a mess. We were running late for daycare and work. In frustration, I pulled the wig off and placed you on the floor.

"Go upstairs and find your astronaut costume." I said, shoving your sandwich and grapes into a paper bag.

"Why?"

"Because you're going to be a space unicorn."

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You were the happiest I had ever seen you. You walked into daycare in an astronaut suit, an empty paper towel roll used as a unicorn horn and a sparkly tutu, though I'm still not sure what the tutu had to do with the costume. Arizona and Callie laughed and reminisced about Sofia and her astronaut princess costume, Bailey took pictures and Jackson was the proudest father ever. I had to admit, you did look pretty cute.

"Got to go pumpkin," Jackson said, kissing your forehead, "you've got the best costume here!" He whispered.

"I'm not a pumpkin daddy!"

As I pulled on my sweater and headed towards the elevator, your favourite teacher, Miss Nancy, stopped me.

"April, I know this is very hard, but have you ever considered suing?" She practically blurted.

I was going to be late. "No." I mumbled, "For what?"

"You know, wrongful birth. If Dr. Robbins caught Harriet's OI earlier you could've had the chance to terminate. But she missed it completely and that could be a really big case. Medical malpractice."

I swear my jaw hit the floor. I didn't care if I was late or not anymore. "Terminate? My child? The one that means the most to me? " I turned to make sure you weren't around to hear this. You were at the water table, filling cups. "I cannot believe you would ever suggest that. Ever."

"I'm not suggesting anything. I'm saying, she didn't catch something that's almost impossible to miss. If that went to court, that would be a lot of money."

"Yeah?" I sneered through gritted teeth, "well my child's a whole lot better than a pile of money, if you ask me."