holding on || hunter rowland || completed

chapter 13

life and death. they're pretty interesting topics. they're both similar.

they both keep you on the edge. they're both something we all think ab it.

and here I am days away from both. people say you choose what you want. I don't know what I want. There's no point in either one. If I stay alive I'll just be hospitalized and no one will want to take care of me. but if I don't live... ill be in heaven?? After I find the light? where the heck do I find a light? There's some in the ceiling?!

I sat in my bed and cried silently. I hugged my knees to my chest and just cried silently.

I've learned to not cry in front of people but don't have a good reason? Shouldn't I deserve to cry?

________

he held me in his strong arms gripping me tight. I felt completely safe. Like nothing was going to happen. He rubbed up and down my back which gave me chills but also kept me calm.

he was humming sweet tunes. my head laid on his chest and I could feel his heart beating.

minutes passed, maybe even a hour but I was awoken by the door opening. I opened my eyes to see my surgeon.

"It's time," he says. I looked around. No I'm not ready for surgery stop no! I looked around and realized I was alone in my hospital room with no one but the surgeon. where did he go, he was here just a few seconds ago keeping me calm?

the surgeon came closer and closer to me I shook my head refusing to let him touch me.

he pulled a knife out of his pocket and came closer. "stop!" I cried.

he pulled the knife up hovering it over my body with his sinister grin as the knife was getting closer and closer to touching my skin and the beads of sweat were forming on my hairline-

________

I woke up screaming and gasping for air. My mom rushed to my side and then a nurse followed less then 2 seconds after.

I was bombarded with questions from more then 10 nurses by now.

"I'll go get her some water!"

"Call the doctor lets start the surgery now!"

"Honey what's wrong?"

"Talk to us Adeline talk to us!"

"Adeline tell us what's wrong,"

"We're gonna put this IV you'll feel just a little pinch,"

"What's hurting?"

"Does your lungs feel like they're exploding?"

"On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad does it hurt?"

I panicked. I screamed. I screamed louder then they have heard a child screamed. I screamed and screamed and screamed until I could feel my throat giving out and even after that I still screamed.

When I stopped screaming there was complete silence. The only sound that was left was machines beeping and my heart pounding.

I stared at them blankly. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw a nurse coming to me. All I remember is her lifting me up and stabbing me with something that felt like a knife.

________

this chapter sucked and I feel like this book keeps getting worst and worst. I am so sorry!