Only You • c.h.

2.

Lani slammed the hotel room's door shut behind her, stomping over to the queen-sized bed and dumping her bags down on it. She glared daggers at the bags, which were now tainted with the memories of today.

The door flew open and Calum walked in, his demeanor just as furious.

"Lani, what the fuck? You can't just storm away like that!" he exclaimed, throwing his own things down on the bed.

"Oh, I'm sorry that I interrupted your little get-together with your friends, Calum," she scoffed, crossing her tiny arms and glaring up at him.

He groaned and ran his hands through his hair, pulling at the ends. "What are you even saying?"

"You know, I didn't think you'd notice," Lani continued, ignoring his question. "I mean, clearly you were busy."

"Lani, are you serious? We're really gonna do this? Your second day here?" Calum asked in disbelief.

This is not what he had planned. Today was the band's day off in Belgium, and Lani had arrived yesterday. He hadn't seen her for five months, and he was so excited to spend time with her. They went out to the town today, sightseeing and just generally spending time together. About an hour ago, they bumped into the band who was on tour with 5SOS along with Michael and Ashton. Calum didn't mean to get distracted, he really didn't. Today was meant to be him and Lani, Lani and him. When Calum was mid conversation with the boys as they walked through the streets, he noticed Lani wasn't with them. Everyone began searching frantically, but ended the search when he got a call from his manager saying that she had just stormed into the hotel. And now they were here, fighting on their free day in Belgium.

"Clearly it doesn't matter whether I'm here or not, you'd rather spend time with your buddies." Lani turned away from him and began sorting through the things in her bag angrily, not really having much of a purpose. She just needed something to do

"I'm sorry, OK? I know we should've just left after we bumped into them. It was stupid." Calum took a step towards her, but stopped when she whipped around to face him.

"You don't get it, do you?" She asked, her voice dropping to an angry whisper. "Calum, I haven't seen you in five months. While you've been out here, living your dream, I've been back in LA. By myself. I've barely gone out. All I do is wake up, go to work, come home, talk to you about how amazing Tokyo was or what hilarious thing Michael did on stage today and then go to sleep. Do you know how much I've been suffering? Do you know how hard this is on me?"

"Hey, I'm sorry, OK? I didn't know it was like that." Calum walked over to her and placed his hands on her waist. "It's hard for me, too. I mean, Luke doesn't give very good back rubs. And I haven't had sex in forever. My hand definitely doesn't feel as good as your m-"

"Calum. Stop." Lani cut him off. She backed out of his embrace, wrapping her arms around herself.

Calum stood still, his arms still outstretched towards her. He dropped his arms to his sides, staring at her with wide eyes. They'd fought before, but not like this. Never like this.

"I feel bad, you know." Lani pushed the bags aside and sat down on the bed, staring down at her hands.

Calum joined her, his eyes never leaving her face.

"I just . . . I'm holding you back. You're living this rockstar life," she gestured around them, at their fancy hotel room and the beautiful view out the window, "and you're not really living it, you know? You should have groupies and be hooking up with some hot chick every night, getting drunk off your ass with your three best friends and basking in all this glory. Instead, you're jerking off to some tiny image on your phone and calling your miserable girlfriend every night to ask about her day, even though it was the same as before. It's not fair."

"Oh, baby, baby, baby," Calum said, wrapping his arms around her slouched body and pulling her against him. He rested his chin on her head as he spoke. "You're not holding me back. If jerking off to some bad porn from time to time means I get to have fucking awesome sex with my girlfriend, I'm fine with it. I love you, and I'm willing to wait." His deep voice rumbled through her as he spoke, almost tipping her tears over the edge.

Lani almost gave in. She almost let it all slide so that she could cuddle her boyfriend in Belgium.

But she stopped herself.

Pushing away from Calum, she scooted a little ways down the bed so that they weren't touching. He stared at her with questioning eyes, his thick brows furrowed in confusion.

"It's not just you I'm worried about not living your life, Calum. I'm worried about me, too. I'm back in LA, pining away for you, rejecting every hot guy who even looks at me in the club because I have a boyfriend who's touring the world. On a night out, my friends all go home with some guy to hook up with, while I go back to my empty apartment, alone. I thought we could do this. I really could. But five months apart . . . I'd be surprised if any relationship could withstand that, even ours."

The room lapsed into a thick silence as Lani finished her speech. Calum stared back at Lani, his face so emotionless she was scared she had broken him. When he finally spoke, his voice was thick and he spoke slowly, as if going over every word in his head carefully.

"So . . . This is it?" He pointed between him and Lani.

"Cal, it wasn't working," she reasoned.

"Yeah, I know, I just . . . Wow." Calum swiveled around to face forward and stared at the ground, not speaking.

"It'll be OK."

"Don't say that."

"We can still be friends," Lani squeaked.

"Definitely don't say that."

Lani sighed and stood up, walking over to the arched endow that overlooked the beautiful streets of Belgium. This was the last time she would see this view.

"I'll, um, call a cab to take me to the airport once I pack my things," Lani said, turning to look at Cal, who was still staring at the floor.

At her voice, he snapped out of his daze, looking up at to her. "No, no, I'll call the cab and book your flight."

"I don't want any hand outs."

"It's not a hand out. It's the least I can do," he reasoned.

She nodded slowly. "Thank you."

~*~