Entity 128 | ✔️

25/Extenuate

(A/N: I find this song goes really well with this chapter and maybe the next one too)

Extenuate: partial excuses

"Umm... Koda?" Isobel started, getting the blonde's attention. "I'd like to see what's inside of this..." she said shyly.

"Of course..." he answered, glancing at Pandora who seemed to catch on.

"We're going for a walk," the hazel eyed girl told her, "so you can take your time..."

"Okay..." Isobel answered, not having enough time to process the fact that she was now alone in a dirty hotel room.

Struggling with the tape, she managed to open the envelope. Inside was a neatly folded piece of paper, a letter just for her. She started reading, not getting too far before crying out of shock.

Isobel,

My accomplice in crime, my way out, my ecstasy, my love. Isobel Isobel Isobel Isobel Isobel Isobel, the only one capable of driving me crazy and calming me down at the same time.

Isobel, the reason you're reading this is because one of my friends is around instead of me. But this letter is also in your hands to give me another chance.

Look, I'm sorry I abandoned you when I gave you those pills. I'm sorry I tried forcing you to kill a man. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry I left you.

Christ why is this so hard...

I don't know what it is, but something always been different about you, something that made me wonder what perfection really is. Is it being scientifically perfect, or being human, which would mean perfectly imperfect. Whatever that answer might be, you're perfect to be around, from the way you talk to the way you always look nervous. And honestly, I love that, because it gives me a chance to want to protect you even more. I want you to be strong, just like you were at my place. I want you to trust my friend, no matter how untrustworthy they look. I also want you to remember my promise, about fixing everything.

Please tell me you won't forget it.

Please tell me you're still as smart, as beautiful, as understanding as you were back when we were on the run. Please tell me that you're still you, and that I'm not going crazy...

All those nights where you slept and I watched over you instead of sleeping, fearing something could happen to you while I wasn't looking. All those times my chest would ache seeing you in pain. All those times I'd look at you and ask myself what would life be like without you, failing to get an answer because I can't see myself alone. And frankly, I don't want to be lonely.

I've always wondered what giving yourself to someone meant, and if two bare bodies holding each other is the answer, shouldn't there be another part to it? Shouldn't it also include knowing the others secrets, their flaws, the things they like, the thinks they don't like? And to tell you the truth, I haven't exactly opened up yet, and I don't think I ever will. I'm genuinely sorry if this hurts you, but there are some things that you have to keep to yourself and let them tear you apart.

I love you too much, and I'd rather be kissing you goodbye than writing you this letter. Please tell me you can find it in you to forgive me for everything I've done. God. Isobel I've loved you even before we met. Hell, I might have loved you even before you were born.

Jesus I really can't take this anymore. Everything's going to make sense soon, trust me on that one.

I love you.
~River