Mistakes Happen

3: Not Meant To Be

It was a Monday night when she told him.

She'd just blurted it right out in the middle of him stuffing an egg roll into his mouth.

"I'm pregnant."

He all but choked, food sputtering out of his mouth and covering the table.

"Excuse me?"

Everything had been a blur from there. An emotional whirlwind that she couldn't seem to escape.

He yelled. She yelled. They threw things and broke expensive furniture. All until the neighbors filed a noise complaint and they were forcibly asked to shut up or get out.

Naturally, they chose the former. Both of them collapsing on the couch like they'd just run a marathon.

Emma had to admit that it felt like she had. Their arguments were exhausting enough when they were over what show to next binge on Netflix much less now, when it was about so much more than "How I Met Your Mother or The Office?"

It felt as though she'd had 10 years of her life taken out of her that she could never get back. Like a boulder had come out of nowhere and whammed straight into her, crushing her entire life as it continued on.

But now that all the yelling was over and the accusations had stopped flying and it was just the two of them, sitting in silence... she realized something that she'd been missing for quite some time.

She forged that Boulder with her own hands. Everyday she added a little more to it until it was finally too much and then she was surprised when it went swinging? All the destruction and turmoil that it left in its wake was due to her. She couldn't play the blame game any longer.

She chose to go to that party with Killian when Milah said she couldn't. She was the one who suggested that they get drinks. She had been the one to lean into him and crash their lips together.

All of it had been her choice and, as much as she tried to deny it, she didn't really regret any of it. Everything that happened, she'd wanted.

Not because Neal was a terrible fiance or that he had done anything to purposely harm her in the past (Despite the fact that she may of made those exact arguments just moments before.) but because she just... wasn't in love with him. That night she had been desperate to feel something, anything, for once in her life.

Her and Neal had been together for a long time, growing and overcoming obstacles side by side. She had cared for him and felt comfortable with him but it had never been anything more than that. Both had been so scared of being alone that they forced something that wasn't ever meant to be more than a friendship. They'd settled. It took an act of betrayal on her part her to realize that but she wouldn't let him make the same mistake.

This had to end. It didn't matter if she was going to be with Killian or be alone. All she knew for sure, she couldn't be with Neal.

"Neal..." He refuses to make eye contact with her, turning away in an attempt to hide the tears streaking his face. (It doesn't work.) "I get it if you refuse to talk to me. I won't question it if you storm out that door right now and never contact me again... But I want you to know that I am sorry."