I'm Holding On (Sequel to Making My Way To You)

Chapter 9

I rushed in the house, accidentally slamming the door behind me. I stopped for a second from being startled by it then continued on. "Cole!" I didn't see him downstairs so I went up and into our bedroom. My feet slowed when I saw him sitting out on the little porch we had off our bedroom. His arms were placed in his lap with his hands together and he was staring off over our yard. I moved myself to the door way and spoke softly, not knowing what he was going to say. "Cole?"

"You're back kind of soon, don't you think? I thought you'd be gone for at least an hour, telling Caroline all our problems." He didn't turn to look at me. He only moved to reach for and take a sip of his beer. I sighed and moved forward to pull the other chair over to sit close to him.

I didn't have the words to respond to that so I got straight to the point. "Cole, we really need to work this out. Ella heard us arguing again and I think she still feels that it's all about her."

"At least she's talking to you like you wanted." His response was direct and cold so I could tell there was something more bothering him.

"She's not talking to me. I was in the house talking to Caroline while the kids were in the yard. She came inside crying but walked right by me. I asked her what was wrong but she wouldn't talk to me."

"Then how do you know it was because of our fighting?"

"Because she told Bo and he gave me hell for us fighting and letting her hear. He said he never wanted to see her like that again ever, but especially because of us."

He shook his head and brought his hands to his face. He rubbed his face then brought his hands down and sighed. "We've already had a talk with her though. She should know it's not about her."

"But she's only 13, she's going to think that we're just trying to make her feel better." I put my hand on his leg and looked at him. "We need to work this out."

"It's not supposed to be like this Bridgette."

"What's not supposed to be like this? You need to talk to me."

"Yeah? And you need to talk to me too!" He moved my hand off his leg, stood up and walked back in the bedroom. I followed and a few steps in he turned to look at me. "I feel like I don't know half of what goes on here. And maybe that's my fault for choosing the job I did but I feel like I should know most of what happens. You are my family. I want to know what's going on. I don't need to know every detail but things like Ella going to South Carolina with her friends or Max doing little league. I want to know those things."

I closed my eyes and bit the inside of my lip. I'd forgotten to tell him about Max finally wanting to play a sport too? "I'm so sorry, Cole. Things have just gotten in the way and--"

"My mom started forgetting to tell my dad things too. About a year before they got divorced. She started letting us do anything we wanted and my dad wouldn't know. Then they would never agree on how to raise us. That's where arguments started. And I'm not saying it all rooted from that because it didn't, but I can't stand the idea of us going down that path, Bridge."

"Cole..." I instantly wrapped my arms around the back of his neck and hugged him tight. He brought his arms around me and hugged back. "Cole, that's not going to happen to us. I promise you. I know that it's got to be scary to see us going through something your parents did but it's not going to end like that. I won't let it."

"But looking back now, I'm seeing the same thing in us as I did in them before it all went downhill. So how do you know that we won't get to that point?"

I backed up a little and took his face in my hands. I gave him a soft, reassuring smile. "Because we're not you're parents. And we've always worked through our problems before, we're going to do the same here. We just have to get on the same page when it comes to the kids. And we will." I brought my hands to his shoulders but kept the eye contact.

"But we're dealing with a teenager now and it's not going to be long before Haley's there too and with Max being his energetic self, it's getting harder. And it's not going to get any easier. But I love you and I'm never going to stop loving you so we're going to get through this. I'm sorry that I've let other things get in the way of our communication but I'm not going to let it happen anymore."

"I won't either. I love you."

"I'm sorry that this is what you've been feeling. Are we okay now?" He nodded and held me tight. "We just need to have another talk with Ella."

"You don't know how bad I feel that she's feeling like she's the problem."

"I think I do. I was so sick when I saw her come in the house crying like that."

He looked at me, concerned then touched his thumb to my cheek and looked in my eyes. "Are you okay now? You look kind of pale."

"I think so. I'm still feeling a little woozy from getting sick but I'm okay other than that."

"You got sick?"

"Yeah, I had to pull off to the side of the road on the way back home but I'm fine. I think it was just from seeing her like that then rushing out of the house and my nerves and all. I'm good."

"Okay, if you're sure."

"Yup. Let's go get the kids." I smiled and he took my hand, kissing my head before we walked out of the house.

What do you think? I don't like how I really don't have any questions for you. But it's okay, I guess. Please, please give me feedback though! It doesn't have to be on this chapter necessarily but on the story overall is good too. Next 2 chapters are going to get interesting. I think so anyway. I'm anxious to get them up to hear what you think! I don't know when that will be though so please be patient. I'm having to deal with a few things right now so I don't have a ton of time to write. Next chapter will be up asap. Thanks for reading :)