Bad Boy Judah

f o u r t e e n

Judah hits the breaks, which makes me strain forward. We're sitting in the parkway right in front of his house. I don't feel safe, but I can't go anywhere else.

Judah pushes the car door all the way, nearly tearing it off, as it faintly swings back and forth. I'm suddenly scared for my life. I sit still, even though my bones are shaking.

I stare at the side of his rigid face.

"Get out of the motherfucking car, Rose!" he shouts suddenly.

I jump, frightened. I exit the car and softly push the door shut. Tears begin to brew in my eyes. My head feels hot and heavy. I try to take my time breathing out, as I approach Judah to follow him up the steps. It's no walk in the park—it's torture.

Maybe I should have run off, when Judah was beating up that guy. But then again, he would chase me down.

We both walk inside the house. I try to calm my nerves, and tell myself everything's going to be okay, if I just stay in his shadow. My cold clammy hands rub together.

For a long moment, Judah is a statue—with his back to me.

Suddenly, Judah pitches a glass lamp. It flies against the wall and smashes into infinite pieces. I gasp, covering my mouth. My body freezes over. He yells and curses. Then he grabs the side-table and throws it across the room, where it then hits the wall and breaks.

I back up, pressing my back to the door. I could run out now, but I'm too shocked to move or go anywhere. I clasp both hands over my mouth, holding back panicky tears.

What's gotten into him? He's scaring me and I don't know what to do. I don't know why he's so angry...

"What the fuck, Rose?!" he yells, punching a hole in the wall.

My body is taken over by an incessant tremor. Judah picks up one of the bar stool seats and flings it, too. When it crashes to the ground, my cry becomes audible.

Judah breathes heavily, watching me. I quickly wipe my wet face.

"Were you going to leave me? Is that it?" his brows furrow. Then he shouts ear-piercingly loud, "Answer me!"

Startled, I muffle my shriek in my hands. I slightly shake my head. He's a fair distance away from me, but I can still feel his hard breaths blowing on my frozen skin. His voice still booms in the apartment.

"Is it... Is it because I scare you—I freak you out?"

His dark grey eyes bully me into looking at them. I shake my head, even though I'm lying.

"Is it because I'm a monster? I'm not good for you?" he continues to ask me.

He stares at me. It's silent in the room, though I can hear blood rushing up into my head and a ringing in one ear.

"N-no... You're not a-a m-monster," I stammer, casting my eyes on the dark wooden floor.

He takes two large steps towards me. Then, he swiftly grips my arms, pulling my stiff body off the door. I whimper from his rough hold. But when I look into his eyes, he looks just as terrified as I do.

"What is it then?" he hisses.

"Nothing, there's nothing."

He slammed his hand against the wall on each side of my head, trapping me in his tension.

"—Don't hurt me," I blurt out.

If I hadn't opened my eyes, I wouldn't have seen his expression change. His hands take my head in between them, bring it closer to him. In reaction, I put my hands over his.