Bad Boy Judah

t h i r t y o n e

I sob.

My heart has never been in so much pain.

The two little pink lines weren't even faint. They were solid, and left no room for doubt—even after I've been hurling my guts out all week. It didn't even give me time to think of more ridiculous possibilities as to why my period was so late.

Mara quickly takes the test stick out of my hand, before I have a chance to pitch it across the bathroom.

"Don't worry, Ro," she hugs me, "Everything's going to be okay."

"No," I sob, hugging my best friend tightly. "No. I messed up bad."

This isn't how my life is supposed to go. I was stupid. I was really stupid.

"Don't cry. You're going to make me cry!" she whines.

"I can't have a baby, Mara. Not Judah's. Not like this," I shake my head.

But it's my fault. I must accept it.

Mara looks me over and asks, "But, are you going to tell Judah?"

I laugh at the idea, nervously, because I believe I'm going insane.

"He can't know. He doesn't need to know."

"Of course he does," Mara frowns at me.

"And what do you think he'll do for me? Huh?" I throw, walking to sit down.

It was more of a question for myself to figure out. He's nothing but a liar and a heartless jerk, Rosalie. Don't even think about it.

"But, Ro..." she stretches.

"Can we stop talking about it, please?" I beg, as my voice cracks.

My eyes sting and my throat dries up.

Mara places her hands on her hips and turns to me. She opens her mouth regardless, and I sigh with my eyes closed.

"When do you want to talk about it? When the baby is born?!" she asks, sarcastic.

I've considered my life over. What about school? What about my parents? And my future? While I try to cope with overwhelming thoughts, Mara picks up her phone and presses it to her ear.

"Things'll get easier, once we get pizza."

♠♠♠

"Well, it's up to you. The fetus is growing. You'll want to make a decision as soon as possible. The earlier the better, as there are fewer complications."

Make a decision? Why is it so difficult? What's more difficult is to understand how I let myself get into this mess. Questions pile up in my mind.

I have a hard time saying my words.

"And how would it be? Do you hospitalize me or...?"

"No, not at all," the doctor smiles, "It's a quick process, lasting no more than half an hour."

"And, um," I rub my cold hands together, "You mentioned... complications?"

"It is a procedure, and there is always a risk. Every woman is different. It's minimal, but there is one," she lets me know.

I nod, "And if everything goes well?"

"Then everything is well," she smiles. She shows me the form that I must fill out. "You should have your partner come with you that day. I recommend it to patients. It's so you'll be more relaxed. Many women say it helps."