Ms. Masochist

IV

Today was Saturday which also meant no work for Beyonce. She had worked with Shawn all weeek, keeping up the same tactics of them both divulging their private information to each other. He was slowly but surely breaking her. She was actually spending the day with him today. It was totally inappropriate but she felt the need to get to know him on a deeper level.

Her closet was filled with clothes, none of them really cute or interesting. She always chose to wear turtle necks and loose fitted jeans. She had full hips and plump breasts but she refused to show them. After her situation with Dr. Warner years ago, she hated showing her body. Her aunt Sade was the opposite.

Sade didn't dress provocatively or anything but she believed that if you had it, you should flaunt it. She showed her nice figure and used that little power to control the men in her life. Not in a bad way, she always seemed to change them for the better. Her mother Tina was the same way actually but her power she held over men was cruel and unusual.

"Beyonce, where are you going?" Taraji asked stepping into her room.

"Out to lunch,"

"With?"

"No one,"

Taraji scoffed and rolled her eyes. She pulled Beyonce back on the bed and pinned her down.

"Tell me where you going Bey!" she yelled playfully which caused Beyonce to laugh.

"Oh my gosh Taraji. It's with a man I met at work," she said, only half way lying.

"Please don't get into another Dr. Warner situation," she said.

"I won't but I really needa get ready T,"

"Aigh hoe, don't get hurt and don't give up the drawls too quick,"

"Get out!" she yelled laughing.

When Taraji finally left out she threw on the clothes and put her hair in a simple messy bun since she was running late. She rushed in her car and drove to the cafe where she was meeting Shawn. She arrived there in less than fifteen minutes and he was already sitting at a booth in the back.

"Well it's good you finally decided to show,"

"I'm sorry I was running late," she said dryly.

He looked her up and down, noting how she made sure she covered up nearly everything. Her turtle neck still seemed to show her full bosoms though which made Shawn very happy. She was beautiful but if he was going to use her, she needed a makeover. Who would hide beauty anyway? It was completely ludicrous to him.

"I already ordered for you,"

Beyonce just nodded her head, she wasn't shocked. People like him did that anyway and she made sure to mentally make a note of that. She didn't want to think of this as anything other than studying this intricate man.

"Why'd you choose this cafe?" she asked him.

"I just love the coffee," he lied.

He loved this cafe, it had a homey feel that he never felt anywhere else. Beyoncé of course read him like a book and knew he was lying but she chose to remain silent. Today she would roll with his punches and do what he wants.

Once their food came they dug in, eating in pure silence. They both had too much on their minds and were too focused on studying the actions of each other. Beyonce noticed how Shawn ate with a fury and he kept his eyes on everyone who walked by. He hated when someone was behind him.

Shawn noticed how Beyonce ate so timidly. How she didn't like to be stared at and she couldn't take a compliment at all. She was so uptight and formal. It was beginning to kill him.

"You enjoy your food?" he asked her.

She smiled  weakly and nodded her head.
"Beyoncé," he said.
She looked up from her plate and ducked her teeth.
"Loosen up Beyoncé, we're not in your office,"

"Why should I?" she asked, raising her right eyebrow.

"Because we're out, just chill,"

Beyonce rolled her eyes and they continued to eat their food. When they finished they just sat their and started talking. This time their topic of their conversation moved to relationships. He was the one to change it to this and she hated it. It would be beneficial to her study but discussing herself and relationships is difficult.

"I don't do relationships," he said.

"Why is that?"

"I don't feel love for people. The only person I've even cared for was my old friend Ty,"

Beyonce made yet another mental note of that.

"Oh, well why do you feel like you can't feel love for people?"

"I just don't Beyonce," he said dryly.

"What about you?"

"What about me?" she asked, cocking her head to the side and scrunching up her face.

"How is your love life?"

"Non-existent,"She said.

"A beautiful woman like you, and a non existent love life is very hard to believe Beyonce,"

She chuckled a bit and smiled.

"Well believe it," she said.

The more time they spent the talking the more the two felt the need to pry deeper and deeper. In order for this to work they have to take things slow. Only do a topic today. Too much prying would end the study quick and she still wouldn't get to truly know him the way she would like. Right now though, she wasn't sure how she would like to know.

The burning ache in between her thighs told her that she wanted to know him on totally unprofessional levels. Her past experiences with that reminded her that this is nothing but heartache.

"Do you think it's because you don't open up more, or show a little?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she asked, becoming offended.

"You dress like you're a nun. What are you trying to hide?"

"And you treat women like they're toys for you to play with and discard when you're done!" she hissed.

Her words didn't phase him at all. It was indeed the truth and he wasn't ashamed of it. He got what he wanted and then he left. People are indeed disposable.

"You are so right but that still doesn't change the way you act Beyonce,"

She knew he was right but after what she endured with Dr.Warner, she wanted no man looking at her. She wanted to look the way she felt on the inside.

"I'm going to give you a make over,"

She couldn't help but laugh at what he said.

"When?"

"Tomorrow, meet me at my place," he said.

"Alright,"

They talked a bit longer and then went their separate ways. She rushed home, ready to get into some sweats and dive into this book she's been dying to read. It had been sitting on her bookshelf for weeks, since she's been kind of busy with Shawn and work. When she got in the house she stripped, threw on a huge tee shirt and got in bed with her book in her hand.

It was about sadomasochism. The whole book told the story of a woman who was engulfed in that world. Little did anyone know is that Beyonce herself was engulfed in that world with Dr. Warner. He was a crazy and weird man. Most psychiatrists are just as crazy as their patients. He introduced her to it and she realized how much she loved it. The pain was so sweet and for some reason she always fell for people she knew would hurt her and she enjoyed her ride to hell each time.