Ms. Masochist

VIIII

The tears couldn't stop falling down my face, no matter how hard I tried to stop them. I looked down at Sade and Solange just laying there, lifeless, in there white caskets. I gripped Sade's hand, almost hoping that somehow she would grip it back. I was desperately hoping that this was all some sick and twisted dream but it wasn't. They were really dead and they were never going to come back.

I walked away from the caskets and rushed out of the funeral home. A mix of emotions filled my mind as I ran to the car. I can't believe I ran out of their funeral, my mom will have a fit once we get home but I don't care. I just wanted to be left the hell alone. I drove down to a secluded park and parked in between some trees.

I grabbed the razor and cut into my skin, slow and steady. This is the only power I feel that I have left. I watched myself bleed, the crimson red blood brought a smile to my face. I finally felt at ease, I closed my eyes and leaned back. I sighed out, wishing this day would be over already.

Beyonce woke up with a killer headache. Jay was passed out on top of her, lightly snoring. She looked down at him and smiled, he made her feel like she was on cloud nine at all times. Gently, she pushed him off of her and went to the bathroom. She looked in the mirror and she had that same glow on her face she had anytime she was with Jay. She took a quick shower and threw on some sweats, putting her hair in the sloppiest bun ever.

When she walked back in Jay's room he was sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes until they turned red. He stretched and let out a very loud yawn. Beyonce could tell he was still sleepy. She walked up to him, planting a kiss on his lips.

"Good Morning," she said in the smoothest raspiest voice.

"Morning baby girl," he said back to her.

He looked her up and down. She didn't have on anything spectacular but she still looked so amazing to him. Beyonce could wear a potato sack and still look beautiful to Shawn. He was totally in love with her. He hated that soon they would have to face reality again and he would have to begin his therapy again.

"Jay,"

"Don't say it Bey, I know we need to start therapy again,"

She chuckled a bit and playfully rolled her eyes.

"You read my mind, we can do it downstairs in about an hour so hurry," she said.

With that she walked out and made her way down his grand staircase. She walked into his office and sat down at his desk. She pulled out her tablet that she had left here the last time. She entered her password and went to where she typed her notes from sessions at. She read over everything they had gone over so far.

She's made progress with him, mostly due to their relationship, but outside of that she felt as if she was failing him as a therapist. Her left eyebrow slowly raised and her hands began to tap against the wooden desk. She hated feeling this way, she felt the most pride when it came to her job. It was her duty to prove to her colleagues and superiors that she could help him change.

Jay came into the office, not really wanting to do this but he knew he needed it. He loved her and that seemed like enough until he felt the same anger that caused him to do the things he had done before. Some images he just couldn't erase from his head. The main one was his mother, the look on her face the day she left him. Her eyes looked dead that day, she spoiled him but she, herself, seemed so empty. Like a mere shell of a human.

"Take a seat Shawn," she said to him, sounding very professional like she did when they first met.

He took a seat and inhaled deeply, he was so nervous and he didn't even know why.