I haven't slept and I write stuff

I need support

Hello
my name is Max
no it's not that vile 6 letter word
no it's not those four syllables
my name is Maxwell Alexander
I am 5'5" and I enjoy writing and makeup
and I'm a boy
my friends know this, some people that I would rather not know do, even my mother knows but
she ignores my identity
she said she's accepting but immediately returned to using that horrid name and feminine pronouns
I need support
I need it to come out again
to reenforce that I am not a girl
to remind her of who I am
to attempt to get my name legally changed, as well as my gender marker
I need support because
I'm afraid
of what my life will be like after I come out again
Now let's assume that my mother agrees
my name and gender marker are legally changed and as far as the law is concerned, I'm a boy
at school teachers are confused, accidentally or even purposefully deadnaming me, misgendering me
some peers being respectful, others confused, more unaccepting
I may be attacked, as another trans boy in my school has
I may be questioned a lot, people asking "why not just be cis?", saying "you're a girl! you can't just say you're a guy and magically become one!"
it's unlikely that I'll be accepted by everyone
My dad would hate it, always insulting it as he does with my genderfluid step sibling
Would it behoove me?
I need support
I have some, granted, but I need people who only know me as Max
as the boy I am
I need people who don't know the identity that was given to me at birth