I haven't slept and I write stuff

midnight // nonetheless

has anyone ever told you that a writer writes about how they truly feel in discreet ways?
making you fall in love with a character who is truly a reflection of themselves, what they wish to be, or what they loathe
midnight
i wrote it
it's sad
it's angsty
i wrote it at four AM
slightly intoxicated by alcohol that i shouldn't have at my disposal
in a whirlwind of tears, anger, and all things bad, all things blue
i wrote midnight
read it if you want
i don't really care
it's only up because in a way
it's a part of me
it's a piece of shit honestly
not great writing
but it's me
nonetheless
sure
it's not that horrible or heart-wrenching
it doesn't connect with you as much due to its short length and minimal amount of detail
but that's where you, the reader come in
do my thinking for me
for i can't do it myself
i would like to though
i'd love to be as detailed at possible
but i don't believe that
at this time
i am talented enough
take my work
use your brain
make the details
try to put the puzzle pieces together
then congratulations
you have found me
hidden away in a ruin
of pens
of paper
you have found the part of me i keep so well hidden
but would you have found it if i hadn't told you how?
unlikely
but those who could
those who did
those who will
know my brain better than i do
and for that
i am sorry
for you must know true suffering to understand
for i am truly the wreckage of a human lost in words
nonetheless
i will fight
to make myself whole
but for how long
for how long can i handle
life
before i submit to
death